My partner and I met and I got pregnant soon after (six months after our first date). We now have a toddler. I am self employed and struggling to work because I do the majority of childcare as my partner works away a lot. He is often tired and stressed because of work. He also isn't paid very much (we are both in the arts). We have had our struggles but recently I've wondered whether I should be thinking about leaving. He is mainly kind and does his best. But when he is stressed (which is often) and tired (which is always) he absolutely cannot control his temper. He dramatically slams things around the house which is a real trigger for me - I know I am oversensitive to it but it really panics me. He shouts at me if I tell him not to and tells me that he isn't and that I am 'weaponising' something that he hasn't done. He tells me to shut up, fuck off, he has called me a piece of shit a few times. When we argue we end up screaming at each other.
I know he is tired and stressed, we both are - everyone is! But I really want to be with someone who would never, ever talk to me like that. I don't want to separate my son from his father and I don't want to make my partner's life more stressful so I just stay. I also think that I am partially to blame for the way that he is because I don't have enough patience and empathy. We tried couples therapy but it didn't make any difference. My partner says he is too broke and has no time to do personal therapy. Lack of money is the major factor here but I can't see that changing for us.
We have just managed to buy a house together through using my savings and borrowing from family. I cannot afford to rent somewhere alone that would be suitable for me and my son so would have to move into my mother's house miles away, which seems cruel to my partner and impractical for everyone involved. I am currently claiming Universal Credit because my self employed work has dried up since I had my son. I have low self esteem and am struggling to know what to do.