My husband and I are both 30, and we've been married 7 years. Three years into our marriage, we moved to Turkey for work on my family's farm/ranch here. I'm half Turkish and because I couldn't speak the language at first, it was quite an adjustment for me as well, but now I'm happier than ever here. Our community is really lovely, not small and not big, and the people are just sooo kind.
When we first decided to move here, my mother in law started to cry because she was worried that her son wouldn't be safe here, because of all the news she hears about in the middle east. I was really understanding to the fact that she was worried about him, as she hasn't traveled internationally.
After moving here, anything on the news that was about the country, she forwards to us, including issues in the surrounding countries, or three of four countries over. Basically, anything that isn't in Europe, could be dangerous for us, and she sends us messages about it. One time, she'd been sending these messages so frequently, that her husband told her that the messages could possibly be offensive to me, so she said she was sorry and that that wasn't her intent. It was during this time that she told my husband that she wished we weren't here. She had said she feels that my daughter (from my first marriage) and I should be safe here because of 'how we look' but she worries about my husband. That was two years ago now. My husband has told them that it "upsets me" when she sends these messages, and I felt like he wasn't putting on a united front at all, which we had a conversation about.
Fast forward to now, we're still getting these messages. I told my husband that at this point, it's annoying, because I've always explained how our life actually is to try and calm my MIL's fears. I've even told him that he should go home and visit for a couple of weeks to see her, even if we can't afford to go as a family. But at this point, it feels rude. Obviously, if she is seeing news articles, I've seen them and know if the news will actually change anything for us here or not. After years living here, I find it insulting. I told my husband this after I received the latest messages, and he said that "she's just trying to make conversation," and that, "even if it was positive news, she'd send the news articles to us, but that there isn't much positive news coming out about the country."
I told him that after years here, I have no idea how to articulate to him that this upsets me, because so far, he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. Last night he said to me that, "maybe how upset I'm getting is something deeper than I'm letting on." I genuinely am lost at this point, because I feel like he was patronizing me. And honestly, I'm disappointed. I'm an understanding person, and I appreciate that other than this, my MIL has been generally kind. But I don't know what to do. Any advice will help. Thank you.