Just wondering what people's opinions would be about this.
I got to know this guy (I'll call him J) about 2 years ago. I don't want to be too outing, but let's just say he is something like a sports coach, and people can book one to one sessions with him/ take part in group activities.
I was struggling in a long, difficult marriage when I met J, and knew I would have to leave my husband, I just didn't know when. J and I hit it off immediately, there was a lot of connection, chemistry and shared interests. We had some one to one sessions, and over time during these, became emotionally close, and both opened up to each other. I basically felt like I was falling in love with him, and I could tell he felt the same.
I separated from my exDH at the beginning of this year. I then didn't contact J for a few months. I felt in turmoil, grieving the end of a long marriage, and had such a lot to sort out practically re kids, finances, housing etc. I then came back to the group and booked another one to one session with J.
During this session, J told me that he'd started a relationship with someone else. I felt totally heartbroken. We'd never had an open conversation about our feelings for each other, but I still felt very strongly for him. J basically told me that the woman he was seeing was part of the group and had asked him out.
They were together a couple of months, then I think she ended it. I don't know the details. However, now J seems interested in me again. Again, we haven't had an open conversation about this, but he has mentioned that he thought in the few months I didn't contact him that I'd got into a relationship myself. He is now making real hints to me that he would like to be in a relationship with me. It's obvious that he knows I felt hurt about everything, and I can tell he is trying to be extra caring to me.
Am I being unreasonable to feel hurt and betrayed by him? I'm not sure whether I'm taking all this too seriously, it's just that I liked him so much that I wouldn't have been open to another guy, even if one had asked me out. But I understand maybe he was confused as I hadn't been in touch. I did ask him semi jokingly if he'd thought to contact me when I wasn't in touch, but he said that he wasn't supposed to contact team members personally (unless it was for something to do with a session or group meet ups) unless it was clear that we had a personal relationship. This is why he also waits for the other person to make the first move if they want a personal relationship with him, as I think he's aware of not crossing boundaries.
I just feel confused about all of this. I don't know whether I should just try to have an open conversation with him, admit my feelings, and see where it goes from there. At this point, I don't really mind what the outcome is, I just want some clarification.