Selfish husband

[Balletkat]

Am I wrong for feeling this. Or is it most husbands? I buy all the birthday Christmas gifts for our children. I take the time off for his birthday but it wouldn’t even enter his mind to book mine off. Ok he works full time and me part time I do my best to keep on top of the housework but would it harm him to hoover once in a while or cook or go food shopping. I’m really at my wits end. I talk to him about it he changes for a while then it always reverts back I’m fed up of having to be the responsible one the dependable one the one who always knows when it’s someone’s birthday or a school event and he just turns up because iv told him about it honestly I feel like crying I genuinely believe it’s just that he does not think rather he doesn’t care

Just stop doing it all. Feed yourself and your children, wash your own clothes (and the kid's obvs) and stop doing the rest. He'll soon notice.

So stop booking his birthday off!
Dont buy presents/cards for his family, that’s his job.
And it depends upon how part time you are regarding housework. I always used to think that he worked 2 days more than me, and I could clean the house/food shop/do laundry in those 2 days , so I didn’t mind doing it.
Does he ever cook tea when he’s not working? Do you have equal leisure time?

He doesn’t care to think but please explain why you make such a fuss of a man who doesn’t. This is who he is, you waiting for him to be different is an exercise in futility.

Put yourself in his position. He has all his needs taken care off and doesn't have to worry about anything. Why would he change?

You can put your foot down and insist he pulls his weight. He obviously won't do it of his own back so you have to spell it out.

Divide up Christmas chores for example and let him fail and deal with the consequences. Stop enabling him.

What does he do? I think if you are part time and he is full time it is reasonable for you to pick up more of the "at home" things. it sounds like he does turn upt at school events, which is good.

How old are your children? If they are very young and need lots of hands on input, it's different to if they are teenagers.

Of your list, I have to admit that I like gift buying for my children and don't see this as a chore; it wouldn't occur to me to book DH's birthday off (and if I wanted to do something together on mine, I'd suggest it). I agree all the housework shouldn't fall on you, but does depend on the factors above as to how much it is reasonable for you to do.

MN generally suggests both parents should have equal leisure time. Do you think this is the case?

Stop doing everything for him and start doing stuff just for you and your children