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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Old wounds being reopened

2 replies

Finallyfreenearly · 11/12/2024 23:34

I’ve posted a couple of threads about splitting with my narcissistic ex - that’s all sort of moving the way it should and I think that, plus the fact that life is a lot clearer now, is making other things I haven’t thought about, come to the surface.

Nearly 30 years ago; my first boyfriend had sex with me (my first time) despite me dating several times that I didn’t want to. There was no anger or violence. He just carried on as he wanted to. My exH did the same thing on several occasions while we were married - weird situations were I didn’t feel comfortable and told him I didn’t want to. He did it anyway. When I pointed out that it was rape, he laughed and said you can’t rape your own wife.

He worked away during the week and would expect sex every night he was home. If it didn’t happen for whatever reason, he would ruin the whole of the next couple of days. He said it was his right, it’s not too much to expect when he’s providing financially etc etc. I couldn’t say no to him - life wouldn’t be worth living the next day. But if he thought I would rather be somewhere else (I would rather have been anywhere else!!), he would be livid.

i think it’s all coming back because my eldest is off to Uni next year: I’m not so worried about the exH as everything is in my Form E, so it’s all out there.

I’m a bit stumped about the first boyfriend. I don’t want to ruin his life - I believe he has young children. I don’t even think he thought he did anything wrong. I suppose I want him to know what he did was wrong but, like with exH, that will probably never happen.

Hmm, it’s good to get it all out.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 11/12/2024 23:46

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through and truly hope that happier times lie ahead of you 💐💐💐

Seaoftroubles · 12/12/2024 00:00

OP l'm so sorry your boundaries were crossed and you were taken advantage of in such a horrible way.
Re the first boyfriend l wouldn't contact him about it all these years later, but you may still need to process it along with the actions of your husband. Both men ignored you and disregarded your wishes and now years later you can see how wrong that was.
I would suggest counselling to help you understand why this needs examining, how to process it, and how to build up your boundaries and your self esteem. All the best to you OP.

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