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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I trust him?

8 replies

loopielou · 30/04/2008 16:25

I need some advice. On xmas day my hubby told me that he slept with someone else a couple of weeks prior. We had split up but at the time he slept with her we were trying to work things out. I felt heart broken and he promised he was not going to talk to her again. I found out he had done even though he lied to my face and told me otherwise. He finally admitted he had spoke to her a few times. This was only last month. Now he has another ex who he speaks to, this doesn't bother me but now he is meeting up with her and has told me that they are not meeting up but I seen an email that he sent her arranging to meet up. What should I do?

OP posts:
more · 30/04/2008 16:30

Run, run, run, run or change the locks. He is lying to you over and over again.

loopielou · 30/04/2008 16:32

LOL!!! Problem is this is his house I moved 500 miles away from home to be with him x

OP posts:
more · 30/04/2008 16:36

Well I hope you have some good running shoes .

more · 30/04/2008 16:37

Sorry, seriously now. Have you asked him why he lies to you? and why he feels the need to talk these other women?

loopielou · 30/04/2008 16:38
Sad
OP posts:
loopielou · 30/04/2008 16:40

He said he is not used to talking about his feelings. He led a slags life for 5 years and I think now he is finding it hard to adjust to family life. Im gutted this is happening him again and dont know how to confront him without him knowing I seen his email.

OP posts:
SheWillBeLoved · 30/04/2008 17:11

To be honest, you seeing his email isn't half as bad as what he's doing, so don't even let that factor into this.

You shouldn't have snooped, no, but then he shouldn't be doing what he is doing. He's a married man for gods sake.

Tell him to grow the fuck up, get over himself, and accept that his 'slags life' ended the day he stood at the alter with you by his side. If he can't accept that, then it's time to sit down and seriously think about your future together.

HappyWoman · 30/04/2008 17:16

If you dont want him to know you are checking up on him then you will have to make it hard for him to meet her. Why not arrange a 'surprise' day for that day with him - or let him know so he will have to change his plans.

Not sure you can trust him though - he is proving that. You need to decide why you want to trust him in the first place.

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