Me and this woman were very close friends in our twenties, for about 8 years.
She moved into my flat on two separate occasions, she moved out the first time as it was only temporary and the second time as she got married.
We were both quite 'party girl' types when we were that age, and we went out to clubs and gigs and pubs etc several times a week. We shared a LOT of mutual friends and were always together.We went on holidays and minibreaks, we spoke about everything and anything on a deep level.
I also did quite a lot for this woman, including taking in her family members when they were temporarily homeless/in between houses, helping her find work when she was made redundant, giving her lifts to appointments when she broke her leg badly, she was in an abusive relationship (police involved) and I went to pick her up several times, I babysat her children often once she had them, as a favour (I didn't mind at all, I loved her, not saying she should've paid me).
She fell out with me and stopped contacting me eventually, I never fully understood why. I heard through the grapevine some small (to me) things that I'd annoyed her with including that I had taken a top of hers and not returned it-this isn't true, I gave her it back but she lost it shortly following, I actually found it once she'd moved out and offered her it back but she didn't respond to the msg-and we borrowed clothes from one another all the time!
I also wondered if it was because I said to her that I couldn't afford my flat any longer, once and that she may need to look for elsewhere, but luckily that never happened.
And that I had gone out to a party without her when she was depressed, this again isn't true and I don't know which occasion she's referring to if it was a misunderstanding of some sort.
I think she'd just grown apart from me and as an older adult I can see that this is fine, although I was upset at the time.
Anyway we still have a mutual friend, and this friend invited me to his engagement do recently, but it is only a small do, about 6 people out for a meal.
He mentioned he'd invited ex friend and I reminded him that she'd fallen out with me a long time ago and mightn't want to be in my company. This mutual friend is doing great now, but he's a recovered alcoholic and has a lot of memory-loss, so I figured he may have forgotten.
A week or so after I got the invitation to the do, I was messaged on WhatsApp by this ex friend (no idea where she got my number from), asking why I am bad mouthing her, that we knew one another years ago and very briefly and what is my problem?
I haven't responded to the msg but I don't understand it?
We didn't know one another briefly at all! Our lives were very enmeshed and it was for a long time. I am not sure why she'd say that?
I haven't 'bad mouthed' her to anybody? I said she'd fallen out with me and might be uncomfortable in my company, which is true. Other friends have been told that by her and some of the reasons why.
I can only assume this is a result of mutual friend saying something, but I don't know that for certain and I don't want to ask friend, It's not his fault and I don't know that ex friend knows I have seen the message as I haven't opened it. I don't know whether to respond to it either.
I have name changed for this post.