how to have a conversation with a talking stage where i feel he is emotionally unavailable with my feelings when i try to talk about how i feel. i feel that when i express concerns that i have with him he is neglectful with them but when it comes to him voicing his feelings about me he has no problem with making me feel bad. he also has ghosted me before and left me without an explanation for 3 whole months until coming back into my life. i dont trust him that he wont do it again. the lack of trust makes me not even want to have sex with him. i feel that i have to walk on eggshells around with what i say and do so that i dont upset him. he confuses me a lot when it comes to him joking around or him actually being upset. he considers his own feelings and ego first. he tells me he loves me everyday and i still have yet to meet his parents. his mother doesnt even know about me. he has no ambitions in life and that scares me. he puts absolutely no effort in the relationship. he doesnt plan anything, he doesnt surprise me with anything, in fact he doesnt really show his love for me to anyone who is important in his life. i feel like he does care and love me its just for some reason i feel this deep fear and anxiety about it. in the past i may have lied but they were really small things such as me lying about being a virgin. thats it. i have been going through an awful time with my parents and its almost like he doesnt care. i have lost trust from my parents because i love him so much that i would do anything with risk to just be with him. my parents hate me but him as well. they really hate him. he doesnt have his priorities straight. we are both 18 years old and i have a job and my license. he doesnt have any of that. and he has all the reason to go get it, absolutely nothing to hold him back. he just doesnt want to do it. that scares me for what the future holds if he holds himself with the image of just being nonchalant and just not giving a fuck. im tired of being the man in the relationship. i have never ever once received a gift. he calls me his girlfriend but i dont feel like he treats me as one. he doesnt enjoy doing the typical bf and gf things. he doesnt seem interested with my conversations. i wanna do the cute and slightly cringy things. but i know he wont appreciate or like it. i really love him like so much its just im lost and confused. in the past he has had friends where they talked bad about me in front of him. never once has he said something about it. and when it came to my family and friends hating him i was always the first one to defend him.