Sanity check

[Toletitgo]

So my DH has always had a loose relationship with the truth, lying to avoid conflict or get his own way. Things had improved but after a recent argument arising on the back of a "white" lie, it turns out he lied about other women at the start of our relationship 10 yrs ago. He was sleeping around in the months after we got together and we were, I thought, exclusive. What do I do with this now, all these years later? I pushed for the truth having long suspected, but now I've got at least some of it, I don't know how reasonable it is to feel as betrayed as I do. He says he's not cheated beyond those first few months, but he lied about this for a decade and has told many more lies over the years, so it's hard to believe anything anymore. He is otherwise a good and loving man. We have a child and a life together. How do I move past this?

What was the recent arguement about?

I think if what he is saying is true, that it only happened at the start, then is should remain in the past

How old was you both at the start?

I dont like lies being told to avoid conflict and to get your own way, this is selfish with no respect for the other person or situation

How would he feel if you started telling lies that affected him but benefitted you

My experience is, if your gut tells you something isnt right, it probably isnt

And why have you got some of the truth, why half say something, all the truth needs to be said

I’d be hurt about the past cheating for sure. But I think what finding that out has done is force you to address the big issue - that he is a habitual liar and you can’t trust him. We’re all different but for me - no trust means no respect means I can’t love. He might give you other things you value but the lying is a habit that’s not likely to change and it’s a flaw that would always gnaw away at me.