Feeling very sad tonight as I think I need to break with my boyfriend of 18 months. We are not young! Both had difficult relationships, four children between us, three his, one mine, aged 9 - 17, we live an hour apart. It's been a lovely romance - he's a very kind man, the first I've had. We've bought our children together recently and it has worked, by and large. But I realise now he is looking for someone to be with him when he has his kids, and I just don't want to. I like being at home, my work and friends are all here. And it's him I love. His children have been through a lot and are sometimes challenging, but they are children - not their fault. I wanted a proper relationship, perhaps to get married, certainly to live with someone. I can't move as my son is starting secondary school here (shared care with his dad); my bf could move but it would mean shifting his custody around, which he fought for (very difficult ex), and is complicated, to say the least. I think it would break his heart to lose any more contact. He is so embedded where he lives, it feels impossible he would move, and I can't for him. Please don't be judgemental. I was willing to give being a step-parent a go, but it's chaotic and difficult. I wonder if it's because I wanted more children and lost two pregnancies. I feel anxious and depressed about the situation, and scared of losing the nicest relationship I've had.