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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex in (long term) relationships

3 replies

Meow12345 · 10/12/2024 16:44

Just wondering if I'm weird or not here. In a long term relationship, do you need sex to be regular to keep you interested? As in, if you had large gaps between sex sometimes, does it bother you?
Say after a few weeks without, can you just get back into it at the drop of a hat? I'm struggling as if sex doesn't happen for a few weeks, I just loose interest. Mainly cuz I feel partner isn't interested, and then I back off as well. And I struggle to initiate, as if sex isn't regular, I just don't have the confidence to initiate.
Does anyone else feel like this? I know me not initiating is a problem, but I massively lack confidence in all areas of my life, and if sex isn't regular I just back off and loose Interest because I feel like partner isn't interested.
I feel way more interested in sex when it's regular (not talking every day or anything, but just like once or twice a week regular). When there are gaps of more then a few weeks I just don't want it anymore when partner then suddenly initiates it.
Am I weird for feeling like this? Am I supposed to just want sex even if we haven't had it for weeks? I'm talking long term relationship of many years here, and yes we've spoken about it, but I just don't think partner understands that I feel like this. Arrrgggg!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/12/2024 16:50

You may have spoken about it but you need to speak about it more. Explain how you feel, write it down if you don’t think he’s getting it. How does he feel?

Allelbowsandtoes · 10/12/2024 16:51

I find that the less we have sex the less I want it. It's like most things, the less you do it the less you think to do it.

Saying that, we're having sex less than usual at the moment (maybe oncea fortnight) but when we do have it, it's particularly enjoyable.

Sadcafe · 10/12/2024 20:02

@Allelbowsandtoes , totally agree, the less you do it, the less you want to, becomes easier to go to sleep than put the effort into trying

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