Getting hit

[Harmbow]

I was in a wonderful relationship for about a year and then he broke up with me and I had went on another date. Nothing happened, but he didn’t believe me and wanted to get back with me. He threw my phone down the sewer and I lost everything. And then you hit me really bad I had two black eyes a busted lip, and he even dislocated his shoulder I went with him to the hospital and everything. He said sorry and even talk to my family that would never happen again, and I thought he meant it. And during all of this, he was seeing another girl he’s my first everything and he told me that she meant nothing. I just don’t know what to do. He does so much for me, but I feel like he’s not wanting to change the other night. I spent the night and he did it again, but not on my face only on my legs in the back of my head he socked me a couple times. I’m getting kind of scared because I feel like he’s just improving it and We’ll do it again I just don’t know what I’d do without him. I just need advice on how to get over him or to be safer with him. He’s my first boyfriend so he means a lot to me. I’m just typing this here with a really bad headache and just feeling really sad.😥

What would you tell your friend or daughter in this situation? You’d say get out/away FAST!!!

Report him to the Police now!!! This isn’t love. This is control & no-one should be able to control you.

Please report him & LEAVE!

He's a violent piece of crap.

You do not hurt the one you love. He does not live you. His violence shows that he does not care if he hurts you and the pain and suffering you feel.

Please get yourself away from this low life thug as the violence will escalate.

You could be permanently disfigured with a broken, lose an eye or even be killed.

He's your first boyfriend and even if he was wonderful and cared about you, first boyfriends are very rarely a partner for.

If anyone laid a finger on me they would be gone from my life because I have respect for myself.

You deserve that respect too.

You're right, his behaviour is getting worse and he's not going to stop. On average two women a week are killed by a partner or ex partner OP. Don't believe it couldn't be you.

You need to get away from him and you need to do it safely. Can you phone the National Domestic Abuse Helpline. They're 24/7 and you can have a chat about what's going on and work out a safety plan.0808 2000 247

If you don't want to talk to anyone, you can use the Women's Aid chat facility. Alternatively, you can contact your local domestic abuse organisation.

Replace your phone but don't block him. Block him on social media and don't take his calls. Don't ever be alone with him again as you're not safe.

What would it take to make you think that this man isn’t safe for you to be around? Or that you deserve to be safe and loved?

Because this man is showing you that he’s dangerous, and that has got nothing to do with anything that you’ve done. He’s dangerous because of who he is, so nothing you do is going to change that. You’ll change yourself and lose all sense of yourself to try and please him and he will continue to beat you.

You get over him by taking control back of your life, walking away, reporting him to the police, doing whatever it is that you want to do because you can and you have it in you to be happy. If you walk away from this your life will improve immeasurably and in a few years you will look back and be so grateful to the version of you that changed your story.

Im sure others will have practical advice about keeping safe as you leave him but although it’s hard I just want you to know that you deserve to be safe and happy and you will never have that with this man.

What did the hospital say when he arrived with a dislocated shoulder and you 2 black eyes and a busted lip?

Lovely please don't let this be your story. Walk away now. He's not going to change and it will escalate, it always does.

Are you in the UK? That’s a serious assault. Do you have family who can support and help you stay safe?

If he's punched you to the back of the head you need that checking out. You could have concussion or a bleed on the brain. Abusive men really don't care if they injure you, they just apologise, say it won't happen again and things are good for a while. This is the cycle of abuse. You will need support to get out safely, would you consider a refuge, they can provide support while you're kept safe.

You can't be safer with him because he isn't safe. He's violent and dangerous.

Please call these people for confidential support.
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

I really hope this isn't real but if it is then he is killing you slowly.
As someone else said, if your friend messaged this what would you tell them?

Stop seeing him immediately. He will kill you.

I’m so sorry lovely, you’ve really been through it.
you really do need to see someone about your head especially as your presenting with a headache. You could have concussion or worse. These injury’s also need to be noted, it will help with you case.

As PP have said you NEED to leave him. Block him on everything. If you live alone get a ring door bell or similar and don’t let him in your house. If he turns up call the police.

you are not safe with him, in fact your life is MORE at risk when you’re with him. Like other PP have said this is a cycle of abuse. He does not care for you and he does not care if he hurts you.

please contact someone, you can contact women’s aid, if you don’t want to phone them you can access their live chat, they open at 8am.

best of luck ❤️

Thanks everybody for this I really needed positive reinforcement and the reason I didn’t go to the police is because he’s an illegal and on probation I still care for him a lot and just don’t want to ruin his life but I’m starting to get the big picture even if it took strangers on the internet to point out the obvious I can see I was blinded by love filled eyes and the Answer is a comment about what the doctor said they said absolute shit nothing I’m from California so idk maybe they aren’t allowed or something I’m not sure how to break it off with him without him getting mad I know I don’t want to be stuck I just wanted him to change I feel like an idiot for forgiving him 3 times now 🥲

OP are you in the States or the UK?

States Los Angeles

Report him to ICE. Particularly as he's committed a crime. This is for your safety. You can do it online here: https://www.usa.gov/report-immigration-violation

My first boyfriend started hitting me after a year of dating. Every day I wish I’d left him after the first time he did it. I met him when I was 18 and finally left him when I was 27. Now I’m 35 and he is still affecting me after 8 years of being apart. I really don’t want anyone else to feel that way I have. I know it’s scary but please consider telling someone what’s been happening and have them help you leave safely.

Here's a list of domestic abuse organisations in Los Angeles. Please contact them and get some advice on getting out of this situation safely.

He's dangerous and you're not safe. Please don't meet up with him again.