Making jokes about suicide (trigger warning)

[Ncatmidnite]

What would you do if your DF texted you consistently about your DM's temper tantrums and then one day he texts that your DM has had another temper tantrum and tried to kill herself, capital letters and lots of emojis. Obviously got me so worried but he treated it like a joke.

I am not on good terms with DM (very spiteful narcissist who has ignored me now for years). I kept in contact with DF but have now cut contact as this tirade over text was too much to bear and disgusted me and I told him so. Gave me panic attacks for weeks. My heart is racing by just remembering it. I have to cut the contact to keep sane don't I? Feel sorry for my two DC who love their GPs despite how fucked up they are. We live far from family and no other relatives around.

With Christmas coming up we usually travel to see them but I am having serious doubts to do so. My mental health is suffering so much, I'm only keeping afloat for DCs.

Im so sorry youve had to go thru this i know all too well about panic attacks I'd say definitely go grey rock with ur parents i wouldn't say cut them off completely at this stage but if u find that even after grey rocking ur mental health is still been affected i would go no contact
Wish u all the best going forward 💐

I'll just emphasise the low contact (grey rock) very minimal contact i would say i wouldn't stay over Christmas possibly a vist for an hour or so at the most

Thank you for replying @Bex5535
I haven't heard from DF anyway and DM never contacts me, so probably down to me to make contact or not.

I would not bother with either of them. The only people who do are the ones who have received the Special Training ie the adult children of same. They are really not worth bothering about.

Your father is his wife’s willing enabler and in addition has failed to protect you from
the excesses of his wife’s behaviour. Women like your mother cannot do relationships at all so need a willing enabler to help them, this in your case is your dad.

children need emotionally healthy grandparents and your parents do not fit the bill. If your parents are too toxic/difficult etc for you to deal with it’s the same deal for your kids too. Keep them well away from your parents going forward because they will harm them in not too dissimilar ways as to how you have been harmed.

If you decide to reach out you could try to make sure your DF has taken on board what you said to him and is absolutely clear on your boundaires especially if you plan to visit, if boundaries still aren't been respected I'd say no contact is a must for your mental wellbeing (temporarily or indefinitely)

Thank you @Bex5535 and @AttilaTheMeerkat

I feel so incredibly alone and isolated. I don't have many people on talk to andǰ I try and pull through each day for DC. I'm dreading the Christmas period for this and other reasons.

@AttilaTheMeerkat you are very right about the excesses of DM's behaviour. This is a good way of phrasing it. My whole life has been DM indulging in temper tantrums at the drop of a hat. I am deeply traumatised and only in the last few years I realised the true extent of the madness and the impact it has had on every fibre of my being. Some days I wish I could reset my whole life.

I welcome any hand hold and advice to pull through the holidays, I feel like I will suffocate from this.

@Ncatmidnite it's very tough this time of year especially going through what your going through. Remember self care and doing the things that you enjoy. A good walk helps me it really clears my head. Feel free to pm me if ever you fancy a chat, take care 💐