** TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️** Considering giving up on men

[Bex5535]

TRIGGER WARNING

I'm 32, I live in the small town I grew up in. I'm close to my family and friends and have been single for around a year. My last relationship was 5 years and I am a survivor of DV and coercive control from that relationship. I live with ptsd which can be debilitating as the panic attacks can be quite severe with pins and needles keeping me awake at night and also the reminder of the abuse. Despite this I've tried to get myself back out on the dating scene. I've tried OLD but there seems to be so many men who ultimately want a FWB situationship. I most recently dated someone who was best friends with his ex and would live with her for two weeks of the month he insisted there was nothing going on but despite telling me he'd fallen in love with me, would only want to spend time with me once a week. I've spent more time down then happy while dating and wondering if it's worth it anymore. I love romance and some of my favourite books and musicals are pride and prejudice and phantom of the opera. I can't help feel I'm a little outdated for this generation we live in.

Get off the dating sites, it's depressing. I'm of similar age and thought to myself why bring rejection into the comfort of your own home. They can be really quite bad for your self esteem. Go and be you, get some counselling for your ptsd and leave the weirdos and shallow people to themselves.

Thanks really appreciate the advice that's so true why bring rejection to ur home. I've been much happier working on myself lately

Didn't you already post about this?

Indeed get off the dating sites and do not enter into a relationship until you have fully recovered from the abuse. Your boundaries, already skewed by poor relationships and other poor life experiences, have been eroded and beaten down. Enrol yourself onto the Freedom Programme as part of your recovery from past abuse.

No I haven't posted about this before

Love the advice about dating sites it hit a nerve as all you get is rubbish men wanting sex. Normal men aren't like this. Heal and then enrol on some classes and you may find a decent man. But heal first.

Stop dating until you are mentally ready too and good grief stop online dating. It won't end well

Far too soon to be dating again after a long abusive relationship.

Take another couple of years away from it.
Do the freedom program and take time to work through your ptsd.

Make sure to spend at least 6 months reading up on abuse and how to spot the early signs (as they may be different from your exs) before dating again. Be as sure as possible that you can trust yourself to leave at any red flags. And keep reading, throughout life on how to spot them.

Once you are truly happy single, dating is much less scary. Because you want to protect your peace. So anyone who puts that at risk/detracts from your daily happiness, is easy to cast off.

Thanks so much for the wonderful advice much appreciated 🙏 i will look into the freedom counselling

The majority of people in online dating men and women are just looking for casual or FWB relationships

How bloody rude is that? She's come on here talking about her painful past and deepest yearnings, and that's all you have to say? Why not just ignore the thread? Also, look around you, every fourth thread in Relationships is about women having an awful time with dating apps and wanting to give up on men.

You remind me of those people who reply to a thread about a standard-issue deadbeat player with "OMG, is his name Daniel? I swear I dated him!!"

For your information i asked because I was sure I saw an identically titled thread the other day. I'm allowed to ask. And clearly by the number of likes my question got I'm not alone.

All I did was ask a question. You second paragraph doesn't even make sense

As as for being rude. Ehm pot to kettle love

Hiding this thread now as I've no interest in any other rude comments from you