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Original poster

Emotionally neglected as a child

5 replies

ThatEdgyBlueScroller · 09/12/2024 23:00

Has anyone been through this, what you think is being emotionally neglected as a child and as a result don't have good mental health?

I have been speaking to my therapist about this and I feel like my parents have been passive parenting, I feel invisible to my family and have trouble forming relationships (avoidant personality). I feel like no one cares for me and I just want to be loved.

OP posts:
HardlyLikely · 09/12/2024 23:07

Very much. My parents did their best, but they both came from very dysfunctional backgrounds and had no idea that there was more to parenting than basic food and clothes, and even those were in short supply, as they had far more children than they could afford. I’ve found therapy very useful in understanding the extent to which I closed down and suppressed needs that weren't met, and yes, how I struggle to this day with a sense of my own invisibility.

Original poster
ThatEdgyBlueScroller · 09/12/2024 23:14

HardlyLikely · 09/12/2024 23:07

Very much. My parents did their best, but they both came from very dysfunctional backgrounds and had no idea that there was more to parenting than basic food and clothes, and even those were in short supply, as they had far more children than they could afford. I’ve found therapy very useful in understanding the extent to which I closed down and suppressed needs that weren't met, and yes, how I struggle to this day with a sense of my own invisibility.

Sick of my emotional regulation being "autism". No it's literally because I was never asked how I am or given comfort etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatEdgyBlueScroller · 09/12/2024 23:14

Glad I'm not alone.

OP posts:
Marineboy67 · 09/12/2024 23:33

I can understand how you feel not sure how you go about fixing it though. My mother put me in care. I was placed in an 'open adoption' but the adoptive mother walked out. The adoptive father tried his best. He was Polish and didn't speak great English. He was a heavy drinker/functioning alcoholic and didn't have much idea about parenting other than the basics of making food and buying a few bits of clothes. It's tough because it makes you feel unlovable, I have 3 grown up daughters and grandchildren but I'm still pretty hopeless at being tactile. I try to show my love for them in practical ways and financially but it's not easy.

Original poster
ThatEdgyBlueScroller · 09/12/2024 23:36

Marineboy67 · 09/12/2024 23:33

I can understand how you feel not sure how you go about fixing it though. My mother put me in care. I was placed in an 'open adoption' but the adoptive mother walked out. The adoptive father tried his best. He was Polish and didn't speak great English. He was a heavy drinker/functioning alcoholic and didn't have much idea about parenting other than the basics of making food and buying a few bits of clothes. It's tough because it makes you feel unlovable, I have 3 grown up daughters and grandchildren but I'm still pretty hopeless at being tactile. I try to show my love for them in practical ways and financially but it's not easy.

My mum tries and show her love by cleaning. I feel like she isn't a free maid so she shouldn't do it.

It's hard, isn't it!

Have you asked them how love looks to them and how you want to receive it?

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