Dh and argument

[Londonboyxxx]

Me and dh had an argument. He had followed about 3 accounts on instragram which he said he followed by accident of instragram models. I was really hurt over it.
We were arguing and he said "its not worth the hassle" i thought he meant the whole instragram thing and i said what our marriage and he said im not getting into it in front of the kids.
He said sorry he didnt mean it, he was just lashing out, but it really scared me and made me feel really unsettled like He's not really happy. Hes promised he was just angry but i dont know what to do.

You were arguing about this infront of the kids? Why?

He’s a prick.

Because that happens in life sometimes. Children actually need to see some conflict and resolution. Hiding these emotions from children can be much more harmful because they don’t know when to trust if everything is ok or not.

I don’t see the big issue with following models on instagram to be honest. Is it really worth arguing over?

I would have a problem with this. It’s creepy and a bit of an ick. Looks desperate and pervy, it’s embarrassing.

Good grief, the bar really is on the floor these days

Not when it’s over following people on Instagram and asking if the marriage is too much hassle they don’t!

It’s a little bicker during the day, supermum.

We werent actually arguing in front of the kids. We were arguing the other day it just spilled over into hhis morning as i was still upset. It was just our toddler who was watching tv unaware and i was speaking with a low voice.

Its just now no matter what dh says i just feel hes unhappy as he said this isnt worth it, made me feel very insecure within our marriage.

Hardly a little bicker when it’s about whether the marriage is too much hassle. It doesn’t take supermum to not be having arguments about your marriage infront of kids :)

Are you for real?

Are there other reasons for you to think that?? This is ... Minor, and clearly he misspoke

Im scared how he really feels but wont admit it.
I said he was sorry he didnt mean it. He brought me up tea and chocolate in bed. He is exhausted from shift work so not sure if thats why.
Would you be able to ignore and more on.

Feeling really low this morning. Dh is adamant he didn't mean ehat he said and tjst he was exhausted and not thinking straight but in the back of my mind there is bigger problems that he wont discuss with me and im scared in case he wont admit it to himself.
I know what what to do.
How can i feel reassured in our marriage.
Its so vlose to Christmas i just want to enjoy it with my family

I think when people are arguing and say things like that they don't actually think through what they are saying. They just want this to stop.

So imagine for a second he is saying he wants out of the marriage, does he actually know what that looks like? Looking into all assets, the house, pensions, cars, any savings, the value of the house, selling it, one buying the other one out. 50/50 split over the access to your child, realising that on his days he has to pay the nursery bill or will in future have to deal with school runs. Blended families, remarriage, relationships, step siblings and potential half siblings.

That is the reality and honestly you might need to have that conversation, it might not lead to the marriage ending, it might help you both to remember you love each other and that might have got a bit lost with a young child in the mix.

The alternative to separation/divorce is that he turns into the marriage and you learn to communicate better. You can "argue" without using a tone that would alert a small child to the situation. There is also marriage counselling and lots of information online about relationships. I say this as someone who has been married for 25 years and we went to marriage counselling when I was diagnosed with a life changing disability and neither of us knew how to handle what was happening. We were so lost in the moment we forgot how we felt about each other.

Has he unfollowed these 'models'? When I first got with my BF he followed lots of unsavoury woman and I pulled him up on it and removed them all straight away. He had been single for nearly a year so.. he has never added them back since

He claims he didnt know he was following them. Hes not very good with social media. I sent him a tik tok of something important and he clicked to follow me by accident instead of following the company which he didnt realise he did.

I just feel hes holding something back from me, not saying how he really feels.

But he helps around the house helps make dinners when hes working late and will mostly do all the cooking.
Makes me tea and brings it to me in bed etc so showing all signs of been loving but im scared of what he said in case hes not even been honest with himself and there is underlying problems for him.

Good grief some women need to pull that bar down and stop getting offended and nit picking over crap that really is not a big problem.
Its like this if a woman put a pic online of herself in a bikini thats fine and if she is asked to take it down hes being controlling or if she is following exs pages thats fine.
If a man dose it hes scum.
Read alot of it on mumsnet but yet none look at them selfs.