DH feeling regret about house move

[HappyKite2067]

We have recently moved to a rural area and my DH has serious regrets. It’s now starting to get me down a little, as I can’t enjoy the house & area knowing he’s hating it.

Has this happened to anyone else, where they’ve moved and your other half wants to move back?

It was a really tough choice to move here, and it was driven by my job. We looked at less rural areas nearer to the city but they were not very nice. I’m also a country person, so I do think I swayed us towards rural.

Do I offer to move again for him? the house move was a long process, and I kept asking every step of the way if he was happy. I think he just sat back and didn’t take much interest and now we are here, it’s like he didn’t realise where we were moving to?

I really don’t want to move again so soon, and I also suggested we rent when we move here (to check we liked it) and he pushed to buy, so it would hit us financially!

He needs time to get used to the new house, don’t put it on the market yet!

How recent is recent? We moved from city to rural a few years ago. DH really wanted it and I was on board but it wasn’t my dream in the same way. I’d say it took me 6-9 months to start to feel it. It was really hard at first. It was all so different.

But now I love it. It just took time for me to adjust. I found things I like doing (I have chickens, veg patch, love chopping wood) and so once I found my new routine I really settled. Do you think he needs to find his version of the rural life and just needs more time?

Give him time to adjust. Especially if he hasn't considered anything pre-move.

Also, start enjoying the house, make it a happy home for all of you to be in.

i think you just need to give him time and space to work it out - stop trying to fix it

so you have kids

Yes time and a positive attitude. There are pros and cons to every place. And the winter is considerably harder than the summer in a rural place.

It’s been 6 months now, so maybe he just needs a little more time to adjust. It’s hard when he keeps throwing little digs in, like I’ll say ‘I love our new home’ and he’ll say ‘it would be great if it wasn’t in the middle of nowhere’. And he keeps referring to when we ‘move back’ but I’m not sure if we can/will move back from where we came because of jobs etc. I just thought we’d settle here and I’m worried we might be better off somewhere else!

Very true! He is a keen gardener and he hasn’t been able to tackle it yet with us moving in the summer and then winter hitting, so maybe once spring has arrived!