Brothers and sisters

[MaltipooMama]

So I was thinking about this the other day as my partner and I have recently found out that our second baby is a girl, which we're thrilled about!

We already have a (just turned) one year old little boy and he will be 19 months old by the time his little sister arrives, and as they're so close in age I obviously would love them to be close throughout their lives. They're the only two babies/children across the whole family so no other little ones to play with, and I was wondering what the brother/sister dynamic is like growing up? I only have one brother who is considerably younger than me so can't really compare, but for those of you who have a brother close in age or have a son and daughter close in age, what sort of relationship do you or they have?

You will get hundreds of different answers, OP, because people are not all the same! Some siblings get on - some don't. It's pot luck.

I just have one brother two years younger and no sisters. Growing up we absolutely killed each other (in a very normal sibling way) . I remember always feeling very protective of him though, once there was an incident with him being left out with his friends and I can still recall feeling absolutely heartbroken for him.

Now we have a lovely relationship. We would be in regular contact , he lives an hour away and we call to each others houses with our kids. We wouldn't do much just ourselves like sisters but we also have not had an argument or falling out in 20 years. His wife is a really lovely person which helps also and he gets on very well with DH.

You’ll get a lot of different experiences. Personality plays into it as much as anything else. Older boy younger girl with a small gap can be a difficult dynamic IMO because girls mature faster so tend to be snapping at the brother’s heels in terms of development/ abilities by secondary age. Mine are 20 months apart ( consecutive school years) and early teens now. Fight a fair bit in the house and don’t spend that much time together but they get on ok- it’s not constant beef. I wouldn’t describe them as particularly close though. They are ok together in a group of other kids - not constantly fighting/ causing drama within the wider group and generally ok when out with me and DH.

Thanks for your replies, it's really interesting reading about different relationships. For the record I know there is no general consensus and that relationship dynamics will be dependant on lots of different variables! I was just interested to see if once siblings reached adulthood they still made the effort to stay in touch and were close, I obviously really want this for my children but know I can't force it

@LaPalmaLlama
Ha! What you've described there about older boy/younger girl is spot on for my two re snapping/conflict.

God I hope they're better post-teens!

I have a brother two years younger than me and we’re incredibly close - he’s the man I go to about all sorts of things, I will be lost without him 🥰

My younger brother and I loathe each other, so no help there from personal experience.

But I've always found the "older brother, younger sister" dynamic works better than the other way round. With girls generally maturing quicker, I find when the boy is younger then the gap becomes even wider and it causes a lot of conflict. So you're already in the best position in my opinion, before you even do anything.

We're the two youngest, and very close. When our parents went out at the weekend for a country music night (they both love dancing!) it was always us two at home.

It can be a lovely dynamic OP.