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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend’s dp is rude

7 replies

Sleepytammie · 08/12/2024 22:53

I'm finding my best friend's partner somewhat rude. Her previous partner, who was socially adept and supportive of her career, was seemingly let go after she reached her goals. Now she's living with someone wealthy, fully enjoying their shared lifestyle, and often refers to everything as "hers” and “theirs” rather than “his” - if feels like she genuinely thinks she has earned his house despite having been with him for a number of months.

While I'm happy for her, her current partner treated me dismissively the first time we met, focusing only on money and making a joke at my expense. I felt awkward when he didn't engage with me, even neglecting to ask if I'd like a drink. He also started picking his teeth openly after we had dinner which I found a bit rude and didnt ask me any questions despite me taking an active interest.

It seems she's in this relationship for the lifestyle, which she admits isn't possible on her salary, but I feel uncomfortable with his poor engagement with her friends. Her previous partner and my partner both engage and host politely, valuing friendships sincerely. It saddens me to think she might be prioritising wealth over genuine connection with friends.

OP posts:
VacuumPacked · 08/12/2024 23:11

what’s your point, first poster

Sleepytammie · 08/12/2024 23:14

Just trying to unpack my feelings and work out why it makes me feel so uncomfortable. Anyway I’ve namechanged

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 08/12/2024 23:15

To be honest I wouldn't be interested in her as a friend. I think she was really shallow and self-serving and that she would do anything to put herself first. That includes you, you know. She would walk all over you if it meant she would get to somewhere she wanted to go to.

MarmaladeSideDown · 08/12/2024 23:16

Perhaps she finds money more important than friends, and is happy to have a partner whose social skills are less than adequate.

TeenLifeMum · 08/12/2024 23:30

I have a friend who just became a “life coach” because she’s turned her life around… er, well her 3rd marriage is to a rich man. I’m happy that she’s happy but he’s never shown an interest in me or dh and is dismissive of dh in particular. I now only meet up when it’s women only.

TeenLifeMum · 08/12/2024 23:32

Sorry, totally made that about me. You kind of triggered a memory of the last 2 years for me. It’s really sad when it happens but women change when in a relationship and sometimes it’s not for the better.

Thevelvelletes · 09/12/2024 00:16

If she's joining in on the money aspect just be less available or if it's just the new partner you can't stand meet up with your friend when it's just the two of you.

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