Name changed, regular poster.
I am experiencing some pretty intense emotions about an ex and want to know if anyone can help me get perspective.
I was in a coercive control marriage for a decade or so. I’ve learnt it wasn’t anything I ‘did’ but rather my ex husband chose me, love bombed me, had me married and pregnant in the blink of an eye. I’m glad I’m out, have had therapy and done the freedom programme, am lone parent to the kids, and am seeing someone new.
However, my boyfriend from before the marriage got in touch and we met up for coffee, and I am very affected. We didn’t break up for any reason except that I met the controlling husband and was kind of vanished. We lived together and were very in love. He forgives me completely and seems very heartbroken this happened. He has not married or had kids.
I had very strong feelings and am finding them hard to put aside. Do you think this is just an effect of what I’ve been through and better to ignore? Or could I arrange to see him again? He is so lovely, we truly loved each other. He is single or loosely attached, and is very respectful.
Is this thing ever a good idea?