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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do your DC's cope with the birth of new siblings...not the same Dad...?

3 replies

ifeelcheated · 30/04/2008 12:02

I have two DC's and reallt wanted a third, xDH was adamant no more kids, we split I met a new man, he has no kids but really wants them, I'm getting old to leave it too long, but worried how my DC's will cope with the arrival of a new sibling, I'm also thinking if thier Dad does the same, are they going to feel totally pushed out, they are 6 and 2. I would not have anymore if I thought they would feel like this, they have been through enough already and feel I'm being unfair on them?

OP posts:
Hassled · 30/04/2008 12:19

I think yours are young enough that it will be fine. I had a 9 year gap between my oldest DCs (with ex) and DS2, and my DD, who had been my baby girl for 9 years and had found the split with my ex hard to deal with, reacted badly. She was very jealous for a long time - they have a better relationship now but it's always been coloured by those early years. When DS3 came along though, she adored him from the start.

But at only 6 & 2 I think it will be OK - make sure the 6 year old especially feels part of the whole thing, goes to scans etc, and give them loads of reassurance how loved they are. And make sure your new DP is tactful, and still spends quality time with the older ones.

chamaeleon · 30/04/2008 12:38

you can never predict how kids will react to a new sibling, regardless of whether they have the same dad. just make sure you give them loads of attention so they dont feel pushed out. me and x both have kids by different people and my kids have been great about it, they play with the littler ones, read them stories etc. they treat them just the same (so yes they do also fight loads lol). my mother informs me that i was a nightmare when my brother was born and we had the same dad so i dont think it makes much difference!

queenrollo · 30/04/2008 13:01

i have a 2 year old ds. I want to have more children and my dp very much wants to be a dad. I'm pretty sure that the ex and his girlfriend will go on to have children together too.

I often wonder how it will affect my ds, i'm not planning on ttc for a couple of years yet, but it does play on my mind.

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