Divorce

[Chessie91]

Feel ashamed having to come on here but I have no friends, so I work 2 night shifts a week and when I'm at work my husband goes on xbox and talks to women on there and he lied to me and said they were his mates girlfriend's, I found out they weren't so I obviously wasn't happy about it and he said I'm sick of living like this I want a divorce to the point silly me is saying sorry. I'm now worried he will divorce me and he will not help me with my children so i can work so will also have to give up my job

He sounds shit
Have you had a look at what benefits you'd be entitled to and what he'd have to pay if he doesn't do 50/50 custody ?

Divorce is really really shit but it sounds in this case like you need to leave. See a solicitor for advice on what your financial position will be, what your options as a single person could be. You could be entitled to benefits while you get back on your feet, your husband could have them two nights a week meaning you could still work your night shifts etc etc.

You don’t need to apologise for telling him how shitty it is that he is messaging other people behind your back.

We already claim uc but from what I gather you have to work in order to get proper help from them I did entitled to and was barely enough to cover everything. He has the opportunity to see our children two nights a week if he leaves as I really want to work still and provide for my children but out of spite he won't do this would rather me struggle. I don't know whether he means it when he says he wants a divorce or he's doing it to be horrible, as he's said it many other times but this time seems more real as the man never gets upset and he had tears.

He sounds abusive. Contact women’s aid for support. They will be best placed to help you with what benefits your entitled to claim as a single parent, including childcare costs. He will also have to pay maintenance.

You will be okay one way or another You will be but let him go.

I left abusive ex 3.5 years ago. Not married but 2 kids. I was SO worried about the finances and co-parenting. It has been hard, but I have not regretted ending that relationship for a single second!

Make sure you’re getting everything you’re entitled to benefits-wise and you have got this! You deserve a peaceful life. Xx

"I don't know whether he means it when he says he wants a divorce or he's doing it to be horrible, as he's said it many other times but this time seems more real as the man never gets upset and he had tears."

Don't waste your energy feeling sorry for him and buy into his fake crying routine. Remind him that divorce is what SHOULD happen as his behavior towards you and your marriage indicates that is what he wants. Don't think men have to say with words what they think about you and your relationship -- their ACTIONS tell you everything you need to know. His is saying he has no concern, no respect for you, no respect for your marriage, no respect for your household, and is a selfish jerk. Does that sound like a man who would provide emotional safety and love and who should have the joys of a wife? Not to me! He does not deserve one.

So go on and let him be single since that is how he is acting. No need for you to get caught up in his nonsense. Free yourself.