any advice would be so appreciated.sorry its long.
me and dh split temporarily 9 weeks ago waiting for relate
i met my dh 8 years ago and we have been married 6 years,i fell for dd6 very quick and we had dd5 very soon after.
i have a ds17 from a previous relationship and we did pretty ok on our own for 10 years,they have never got on and we have had more arguments than I can count.
my dh hardly worked over the last 2 years at one stage we were living on 120.00 a week to feed pay rent and bills without any state help and had to borrow money just to survive.
he didnt work for 2 years before i met him and his mother was perfectly happy with this,his dad wasnt allowed to say a thing.
when we met he was 32 living at home never had a girlfriend and only had sexual experience with prostitutes.(only found out about this long after we met)
his mother has him so tightly wound to her its pathetic.he is living back with her at the moment,she ruined my wedding day by being a complete bitch,tells me off if my house is messy or havent done the laundry ,cuts dds fringes to name but a few,
since we split she has been very hostile TO me she is so smug he is back.if my parents visit and dds cant go to her house she is very nasty.
we even mopved away for 2 years to the country and she still came over everyday.
i cant help thinking i married a spineless t**t he is scared of her.
she has moulded dh ans sil into inept and pathetic human beings,
his sister has tea there 4 times a week and dh has 2 visit her everday even when he wasnt living there,
since i asked him to leave we have all been happier here without him,there is no shouting me and ds have got on really well he desperately wants to come back and i have said he could.
but now i am panicking i dont want this all over again how do i say grow up live your life and let me do the same.i feel responsible for his feelings as he knows i am the escape root away from his mother,he was offered a cheap flat by a friend but wont take it.
help help i dont want to sort it out at relate i want to be free from the lot of them and just live with my kids but i dont want to hurt him am in such turmoil.