My BF (26) of 9 years went on a staff night out and after the club around 2.30 text me to say he was coming home. He stumbled in the door around 5 and passed out on couch, I had a gut feeling something was up when he didn’t come into bed. I got up for work at 7 in the morning I went to set alarm for him before I went to work to make sure he would get up for work himself. When I opened his phone there was a search for a strip club and three €42 transactions for that club so I knew he went but said I’d wait until after work to see if he’d lie or tell the truth. I thought he might have went with a single male work colleague as he is easily influenced. When I came home from work he started trying to lie saying he doesn’t know what happened between 2.30 and 5 and doesn’t know how he got home. Turns out his work colleague went home at 2.30 after the club, when I found out he was alone I was fuming. Turns out he went to the club by himself and paid €100+ for a lap dance and told me he touched the dancers breasts. This was on top of the €120 he said was for drinks for him and the dancer, I don’t understand how this works?
I feel betrayed for so many reasons. I never thought he was the kind of person to go to a strip club, I think men who do this are so sleazy and to go by himself I think is so strange. I didn’t think he’d be the person to objectify and pay for women like this. It would be one thing to go and watch but to pay for a private lap dance after telling me he was on the way home. He kept telling me he couldn’t really remember but then more and more details were coming out. The fact he also tried to cover it up and lie about it thinking I didn’t know. The way I feel at the moment this is an absolute dealbreaker and gameover, I feel like I never knew the person I was with for 9 years and before this occurred I felt like our relationship was perfect. I feel so blindsided by this.
AIBU?