Emotional Affair

[ThisNimbleFox]

Years ago I caught my partner and what I thought was one of his friends in what can only be described as an emotional affair. I belive it was going on for almost a year and when caught it still took him almost a year to block and remove her from everything. Fast forward to now I'm still having huge issues with trust. I've caught him liking lots of pics of women on social media that he's never shown an interest in before and also I have found messages to other girls that he's still having, some of which are talking about me. One of the women in particular I really don't like for reasons that he knows and he's fully aware of that but continues to talk to her. It's come to a point now where he's lieing again abiut talking to her but I still keep finding conversations. I'm struggling and just want to see if anyone else has experienced the same

It sounds like you’re flogging a dead horse here.

You can’t trust him so there’s no relationship is there?

Well he clearly has no remorse, does he? Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with a man who behaves like this? I wouldn't. Do your friends and family know what he's really like? You deserve better, to be treated with respect.

Well listen, he's told you he doesn't care about you and doesn't respect you. Hanging around won't change that.

He wasn't remorseful when caught and continues the same pattern of disrespectful bullshit. He is thumbing his nose at you. And you're hanging around tolerating it.

You cannot talk someone into respecting you. Showing him more love and loyalty isn't going to fix what's fundamentally broken in him. It's a him problem. You cant change him.

All you can do is decide if you want to continue to choose a man who doesn't and never will love you, who infact, views you with contempt. Or, choose to love yourself and walk away.

Your feelings are valid. You are right to want a partner who respects you and honours the relationship. This guy, isn't it.

No I haven't told anyone about any of it tbh as I'm quite a private person. Thanks for your reply I think you are right

You are absolutely right. The fact he has to lie about talking to people and says he doesn't tell me as he knows it will annoy me just tells me all I need to know at times. I also get crap like I do it because you don't show any affection, but tbh I can't think of anything worse at the time when I keep catching him out

This is your Groundhog Day until you end it. How unhappy does it make you and will it make you until you realise you don't have to do this. You have choices. Take them

Enough's enough. It’s time to let go op.

I'd prefer a life where I was content by myself, rather than the drama.
Seriously, life by yourself is so much calmer...unless you like the drama.

Thanks for the advice did exactly that and got the confirmation I needed that it's not viable

Get rid of him, he's a lying cheat and is making you unhappy what is the point.
Do you want to keep living your life on repeat same shit different day.
I hope not. X

I worked with a lady who suddenly became friends with our male collegue. Like BFFs it was werid. After a year her husband gave her an ultimatum and she left work to avoid seeing him again. To be honest she was flirting with him alot and it didn't look like a normal friendship at all. We all rolled our eyes a bit! I bumped Into to her years later, she admitted that she had a crush on him, but left before anything happened (at her husband's insistence). Her husband thought it was odd because she wouldn't stop talking about him. I think your husband fancies that woman.