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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stuck in limbo and it's bringing me down

1 reply

matilda1077 · 06/12/2024 20:17

Last November, after years of emotional and financial abuse, I called time on my relationship of 10 years - mortgage, 2 DDs (3 & 4 YO).

We plodded through Christmas for the children, I even spent Christmas Day with his family which wasn't ideal, but I put on a brave face and spent it with my little girls.

Over the following months, he gave me a barrage of abuse. He left the property and made me cover all bills including the full mortgage, on a part time wage. He refused to contribute towards DDs nursery bill and invoiced me for the gas and electric, he quite literally took my last £1, and spent it on designer clothes and a tattoo (ironically of a love heart and the children's names) while I scrambled to find money for food. This is just an example of how selfish he can be.

After drowning in bills, and being unable to get help with housing because of having a mortgage, he came back and we made another go of things. Only the emotional and financial abuse got worse as the months went on, and now we are back in the same spot as last year. We are not together, but sharing the property.

He is going out with friends constantly and leaves me to single parent most of the time. He is spending money on weed (and smoking it) daily, which I have told him I don't want in my home or around the children. He is rude to me (if he acknowledges me at all, most of the time he acts like I don't exist). I am miserable, have nowhere to go, he won't leave and the situation is becoming more and more toxic.

There isn't a way out, at least until new year. But living with someone who doesn't have an ounce of respect for me is taking a toll on my mindset. I don't know what I want from this post, more of a handhold really. I just hope 2025 looks better for me and the girls. I've served my prison sentence with this pathetic excuse of a man.

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 06/12/2024 20:35

He’s abusive and you need to get out as soon as you can. Contact women’s aid and they will support you to leave. You don’t have to put up with this. Speak to them for advice and support asap. This is a horrendous situation for you and the children. They will be damaged by this and you don’t want them growing up modelling his behaviour or becoming a victim of abuse.

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