We've never really gelled with SIL and her husband. If anything you could say we just don't really get on. No one's unpleasant to each other but there's really no chemistry as people and it's almost like the person as work you cant have a good flowing conversation with and so you awkwardly avoid each other.
As kids DH and his sister were never close, always did their own thing. When me and him got together my first impression of SIL and her then boyfriend (now husband) was, he's rude (that's another story) and she doesn't really want to make an effort with me type thing.
Fast forward about 15 years and we've all had kids. We also live in the same area.
SIL has recently expressed she really wants the cousins to be close and have a relationship.
They're all quite young so the children aren't asking for this. The thing is we've tried to spend time with them over the years but found it really hard work.
We just have very different ideas of how to bring up kids, what's important, what's not, different senses of humour, different groups of friends. We're just TOTALLY different.
DH and I are happy to see them a few times a year, and probably no more than kids birthdays, Christmas etc.
Do you think we're being harsh? It feels almost like life is too short to spend more time with people who don't make you feel good, so should we do as SIL wants just for the sake of the kids being cousins?