Am I wrong to want to avoid my family during this period

[madametav]

NC for this. I have to have surgery in a few weeks time and have to go on a strict diet to shrink my liver beforehand. Obviously normally at this time of year there are lots of social occasions and nights out etc which will Be out of the window for me, which is fine.

My family also have a few events coming up including a weekend away, and I really am inclined to avoid them. A lot of family occasions revolve around eating and drinking and I know people will roll their eyes at me not being able to join in with it all. However, DH says I am being miserable and sulky. Even my ds tonight said "come on mum we will miss you if you don't come" to the weekend away and I just felt terribly guilty. But I also think it will be easier to just avoid it and stay at home and DH can go with the dcs. They are 14 and 10 so not hard for DH to manage without me.

I feel ashamed and embarrassed about my weight and I really don't want people commenting on what I'm eating or not eating which I know they will. But if I try to explain that I know I'll sound stuck up and prickly and defensive.

Am I in the wrong to want to avoid them all?

I'm so sorry this is happening. You are doing the right thing in looking after yourself. I think sometimes people react like that because they feel guilty about their own choices. I remember when I lost a lot of weight a long time ago, I got a lot of nasty comments. Even now, I have to repeatedly turn down the offer of cakes at MIL's house, she has to make catty remarks about how I used to like sweet things just to make herself feel better for not having the willpower. If you stick to your guns, you will feel better. If you give in, you will feel guilty.

You need to prioritise your health and that means sticking to the liver reducing diet. If you get in for the surgery and they find your liver is still too large, they'll close you up and send you home - it happened to someone on my ward.

I think sit the whole family down and say look, this surgery is vital for my health and if I don't stick to the diet then I won't be able to have it. I can't be around people who eating and drinking normally while I just sit there drinking my milk. It's hard enough at home. You all go and have a lovely time e joying yourselves without feeling guilty that you're stuffing your faces in front of me! And let's plan a lovely trip for next year when I'll be much fitter and able to do much more. Because if I don't get the surgery, you're going to end up with a mum/wife who's disabled, or worst case scenario, dead.

Best wishes for your surgery, it's life changing. I'm 10yrs out and love my new life.

Thank you both. It's only for a short period but it coincides with a tough time of year when it comes to food! It has made me realise how so much of what we do revolves around food and drink.