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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP told me he is depressed and I don’t know what to do

2 replies

username13579 · 05/12/2024 19:57

DP told me tonight he is unhappy, lonely and has no motivation to do anything. I have noticed he has been a bit ‘flat’ but the conversation came about because I asked him to do ‘something’ to help me around the house. We have a 6m DD and I am on mat leave and do everything around the house. He comes home from work, eats dinner, goes on his phone, watches tv and goes to bed and repeat. He will have a cuddle with DD but doesn’t have the energy to play with her or anything like that so the rest is up to me. DP has a physical outside job so I don’t expect a lot from him but I just wanted him to contribute a bit, hence the request tonight. He then confessed that he is unhappy, lonely and lacks motivation. We had a brief discussion and agreed it might be depression. I urged him to make a doctor’s appointment and see about medication and/or therapy. He said he’d think about it.

It’s difficult because as much as I feel horrible that he feels like he does, I also have so much on my plate with the baby and house that I don’t know what else I can do to support him and kind of feel he still needs to help out more. That does feel very selfish though. Is there anything else I can do? Am I wrong to expect anything from him at this point?

OP posts:
2Rebecca · 05/12/2024 19:58

He's the one who has to do something. A psychiatric problem is no different from a physical problem in that respect unless he's sectionable

TipsyJoker · 05/12/2024 20:08

If He’s really depressed he has to go to the doctor. Not think about it. If he won’t go then he can’t be that depressed and should be able to do more at home. It’s one or the other.

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