Should I cut my losses

[rosein]

I have known a friend of mine for almost 25 years. She no longer lives local to me in London (she lives in Norfolk). She had a landmark birthday and was excited about it. I had just become unemployed however as I knew this was a special occasion, my husband and I got a hotel for a couple of nights but spent a fortune on the whole weekend. We didn't make a point of saying this, but it was the effort involved which meant something. Anyway, I invited her and her husband to my forthcoming event (I am picking up a prestigious award in the City of London). She has lots of London friends she can stop with but text me a couple of days ago to say that she's got extra rehearsals for Gilbert and Sullivan as a performer. I signed off 'thanks for letting me know xx' but my head is telling me just to block her as I am not a priority in her life. Every time they arrange something in London we go to it, yet it appears when I have something going on they don't put themselves out for it. I feel sad that she's my oldest friend, but the reality is that we have different lives.

What never fails to amaze me about the female of the species is that they're never truly honest with their girlfriends. How could you block her without at least having it out with her?
Tell her how you feel and if you don't like what she says back, then cut your losses.
13 years ago a friend of mine made his apologies to my wedding invite, on the actual day. He'd been getting more and more distant over the last couple of years, and I could tell he wasn't that excited, but he'd RSVP'd, but then rang me on the morning with some BS. I waited until after honeymoon but then rang him and told him i'd had enough of his lack of effort and 'cancelled' him.

I felt bad but also good because i'd been properly honest.

That feels like a huge over reaction to being busy on the night of your award ceremony. It was an invitation, not a summons! Pull back a bit if you feel that you are not a priority in her life but no need for melodrama.

Fair points. I know life happens. Just feel sad that it's one day out of someone's life, that's all.

I think my problem is that I pull back from saying how I truly feel.

This! She can't attend as has other commitments, what is she meant to do? Unless there's a back story, you are being very melodramatic OP

I just feel that unless it's organised on her patch then it's not a priority.

If she has a rehearsal then she probably needs to attend. Well done on the award though.

I’d make allowances for a rehearsal this time. You could say how disappointed you are though you understand. See what happens to the next plan?