Nearly 40 too late?

[Skibidi]

Is it too late to start over with dc? Not necessarily meet anyone else but just start a fresh?
dreams of marriage are long gone which I have accepted due to age, false promises & future faking.
dc are at an age where it may be tricky to move.

40 sounds young to me not old!

I'm sure I'd start afresh if my relationship wasn't worth saving. Life's too short to spend years with a rubbish partner. Depends how rubbish he actually is I suppose, you haven't given us much info to go on.

It’s always possible to start afresh especially if it’s not romance you’re looking for. There are factors that make it easier or harder mainly money, health and age of children but it’s certainly possible. There is also something that’s very personal to each person and that is energy levels.

You haven’t said if you’re living with a partner, I assume that you are.

It’s never too late to start over, OP. Did you want to get married but it never happened? Do you mind me asking how long you were together? It might still be in the pipeline 🌺

It’s been 15 years 3 dc, ds13, ds9 and dd8months
previous separation before youngest came along, before she was born it was we will get married by 30, then 40, both been & gone.
promises of change etc.
been back together 2.5 years and regretting it but then don’t regret beautiful dd.
lousy partner, lazy, don’t help with dc, hasn’t done one night feed or got up in morning to allow me to rest having been up in night.
insults me & dc with name calling disguised as jokes.
can’t even have a soak in bath I have to rush as he tells me to be quick if he has to watch dd.
there’s no chance of getting married it was all a lie.
hed rather game than sit with me of an evening, not that I get much chance to sit.

Starting over will be a breeze if you've left before. You know what worked the last time to know what you'll implement this time.
How are you going to manage co-parenting an 8 month old with a man who sounds vile?
If he's cruel and unkind to your older children, they can choose not to visit. How would it work with a baby?

Yer that’s why I’ve not gone yet or the reason I’m not,
i suppose he would just see dd for a couple of hours, he wouldn’t cope anyway. He sulks if he’d had to do a dirty nappy whilst I’ve been out in the past.

I left my partner when my dc was a baby. He made a big deal about having shared custody (he's volatile and abusive and was using it as a threat). I said great, go for it. But so far he has done diddly squat about getting it. He does the odd random visit to see dc every month or two, even then I have to help him change a nappy as he can't do it (I only do this so DC is clean).

He doesn't really want to do the day to day care. He's incredibly selfish. If your partner is the same, then I wouldn't worry about 'staying for the baby'. It is likely he'll bugger off anyway.

You asked if it was too late - but of course it isn't.
But really you're saying 'Is it a good idea to leave this lazy lying shit?'
I think you know the answer - and it doesn't matter how old you are, actually sooner is usually better than later.
Time to re-start.

Of course its not too late! Focus on how freeing it will be to escape from this lazy, verbally abusive man child. You've done it before and you can do it again, you know now all his promises were just empty words. Don't waste any more time on him, prepare to start afresh for the sake of your children as well as yourself.