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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you leave?

38 replies

Looksgreatfromoutside · 04/12/2024 19:23

Would you leave if all the following were true:
Husband gets drunk at least once a week or twice and then spends the next day in bed and doesnt reappear until nighttime. You paid all household bills including rent, food, clothes and holidays as you earn twice as much and he is paying off debt, and contributes maybe the odd pair of shoes for kids. You have debt due to him asking you to take out loans on his behalf and not paying you back but saying he paid for stuff in the first year now he is broke its your turn (15 Years later). If you want to go out anywhere he causes a massive argument but then backs down and apologises after he has made you cry. He calls you fat all the time, but then says he didnt mean it. He accuses you of cheating and says you are an evil witch and worse. He says his mental health is bad. You feel like a single parent as he rarely takes the kids anywhere as is usually hung over on the weekend. But your kids adore him, dont see anything wrong happening and both your kids are SEN and having him in the house does help a lot as you have no other help. You have a lovely house and good job and it looks great from the outside. At all other times hes lovely.

OP posts:
unsync · 05/12/2024 00:09

He'd be the one leaving. Life is much better when you don't have a shitty man in it.

2Sensitive · 05/12/2024 00:41

You're only human, there's only so much you can take.
I'm not sure but I think I'd leave.

healthybychristmas · 05/12/2024 00:43

Any one of those things would be enough. He's disgusting, lazy, selfish and leeches off you.

StrikeForever · 05/12/2024 00:45

Yes, without question.

mrsfollowill · 05/12/2024 00:46

Dear God just leave he is a twat! Sorry if you did not want to hear that but it's no way to live.

ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 05/12/2024 01:41

Fucking oath I would leave. I'm sorry OP, he sounds like a deadbeat.

StormingNorman · 05/12/2024 02:07

Yes

SunsetWave · 05/12/2024 02:21

You're not financially dependent on him so I'd just leave and move on to a happier life

romdowa · 05/12/2024 02:30

He doesn't pay any bills so he'd be the one leaving

Thevelvelletes · 05/12/2024 04:07

He needs you..more than you need him.
Time to jettison him.

LostittoBostik · 05/12/2024 04:10

"But your kids adore him, dont see anything wrong happening"

They do see it.

Yes, I would leave. But I understand that it's not easy.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 05/12/2024 04:16

What is the point of him?.

Better to be on your own than to be badly accompanied. He needs to be out of your day to day lives.

Children love their parents no matter how crap they actually are. You cannot use that as a reason to stay with him. How do you explain away his drunkenness to them?. It’s over.

Bittenonce · 05/12/2024 07:45

Do you love him, respect him? No
Will that change? No
Do you need him financially? No

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