I think dh should be more sensitive and aware of the fact I have zero family / support network

[Takingitforgranted]

He’s lucky enough to be able to take his family for granted. He has a support network. He has people who call and message for a chat , family who like his FB/IG posts. He then calls me ‘needy’ but I literally have NOBODY.

Today we had an argument and I pointed out to him how he can be really insensitive about the fact I have nobody. That he doesn’t seem to realise how completely lonely I am . Has anyone else been through similar

Do you have colleagues OP? If you do, my advice would be to say yes to things you wouldn't normally. Drinks after work, the work Christmas meal. If one hasn't been organised, suggest organising one. As PPs have said, you can't rely on one person for everything, it's too much.

OP, your dh should help but he can't do everything, or be the only one.

You need to take a clear decision to make time for hobbies and making friends. Do it this week. Choose two evenings a week when you will finish on time or take your lunch hour and go to a class, and stick to it. You have to be absolutely ruthless or work will absorb all you have to give.

Take time to choose your hobbies and enjoy yourself. Also sit your dh down and and explain what you are doing, and how you are trying to take a bit of pressure off him.

Yes, I completely get where you are coming from. Very similar to my situation.

I don't mean to be harsh, but it's not your dh's fault you have no friends

You have found a partner. That's very hard. Therefore you can find friends. Friends are far easier. You only see them occasionally.

I just saw this, and it feels like I could have written it myself. I completely understand how you feel. I have no family either, and my wedding was incredibly painful because of all the empty spaces on my side. My DH doesn’t get it—he complains about how annoying it is that his brother keeps calling or that his family WhatsApp group is so active. But deep down, I wish I had those ‘annoyances.’ He’s always had a safety net, a place to stay, a sense of belonging, and people who genuinely care. I’ve never had that.

I know it’s not fair to put all the burden on him to fill those emotional gaps. I know I need to find meaningful friendships, but it’s so much easier said than done, especially as you get older. Add to that the fact that, because of childhood trauma, I seem to attract the wrong kinds of people, and it feels like an uphill battle. It’s just so hard sometimes :(

You can't expect him to go without his social interactions and not nurture his relationships that pre date you.
And you can't expect him to fulfill all your needs.
You need to do the work for that.
It will be hard. But you either do it or don't but then accept what you have.

If you continue down this path of blaming him and expecting unrealistic things I can't see many people who would tolerate that long term

I agree with @Autumn38. Accepting your feelings is the first thing that you need to do and then you can work on making friends. I'm from a tiny family and only have my elderly Dad who relies on me for emotional and practical support, so I also need friends far more than DH (from a large family) needs them.

Perhaps it's time to work less and do some other activities that you enjoy, and where you can meet people. Take a class, do a hobby or a sport, perhaps? Something where people have a common interest as that makes it easier to break the ice and get to know each other. Just getting out there and meeting people will help you feel less lonely, even if you make new acquaintances rather than friends. At some point you'll click with someone and make a new friend.