Name calling

[FreshStart2025]

I’m divorced but share children with my ex. Today he has called me a c*nt, arsehole, told me to F off. I don’t ever respond and just ignore (all via a court ordered parent app). Is there anything I can do about this? I think not but it’s a pretty depressing thought that for the next 10 years at least I’ll have to put up with his behaviour. Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do?

Just to add, we can’t not be in contact. We share children so things crop up even if contact is minimum.

That is disgraceful behaviour! . He is calling you these names via an app?. Does he speak like this in front of the children?

Yes via an app. He said the F word at my daughter the other day and called her name. Although normally it’s more aimed at me.

Sorry he’s such an arsehole OP.

Just continue to grey rock over the app and in person if you can.

Honestly though if he did this in person and I felt safe, I would just show amusement or respond with something like ‘another helpful contribution Dave’.

Where’s the anger coming from? Did you divorce him? Or is his life not panning out as he wanted? Was he always like this?

💐

You must be joking!

We disagreed about something regarding our son, as to whether he should go to school. He thought I should cancel work to collect him from his, I thought he should go to school.

Surely even if we disagree on something, it’s not right to resort to calling someone a c**t…. It’s tiring. I don’t reply or retaliate.

Yeah, maybe I’ll just say something like that via message. We have no contact at all other than the app.

It’s tricky because as I don’t say anything back or respond, it means he thinks it is okay to speak like that and there are no consequences. But I feel like he is winning if I respond as he will know he has upset me, which I guess must be the intention. But surely he has to be told not to speak to someone like that? Gah!

I don’t think you can on the app. I’m not sure he would care even if I did, he has used the same word to my mother as he hates her too.

I look into it to see if possible, I’ve never seen the option. So sad that it has to be like that.

Does it upset you? I don’t give a shit about name calling but maybe that’s just me. I see it as him losing control and losing his cool. I think I’d find it a little amusing. I’d go out of my way to grey rock mostly but also have some fun!

‘Oh I’m a cunt again today? Same as last time. Variety is the spice of life Dave. 2/10 for originality today’

Him: ‘fuck off’

You: ‘it’s been a pleasure, as always. Ta ta for now.’

Sorry it gets to you though. One day you’ll be indifferent and it’s a great place to be.

💐

It doesn’t upset me as such but it just seems so unnecessary! I don’t like opening messages to speak about our children and seeing all that crap.

I think the flippant replies would make him wild so actually probably a good way to proceed and might feel somewhat better than saying nothing! I’ll give it a go 😊

You either grey rock the fucker or go back to court and say him verbally abusing you doesn’t work for you.

Yes horrible to open but now you are expecting it each time, I would kind of just go with it.

Flippant replies showing that none of it bothers you, keeping your cool and being polite will show him up and irritate the fuck out of him. Can you do emojis on that app?

Share the next shitty message he sends on here, and we can come up with some fun replies for you! At some point he’ll realise you’ve outplayed him. At that point he might even try being nice. That might be even more nauseating!

💐