My baby's father won't accept its over

[DenimBird]

Me and babys father are both 30

I ended relationship when baby was 4 months old, she is now 11 months old.

Babys father will not accept its DONE

I've done the gentle approach, I've done the harsh approach

It's got to the point where I will literally tell him "I do not love you and haven't for a while, it is over" and he will have a little tantrum then message me later on that day saying he loves me and he knows we will work out in the end

It's like he's purposely not hearing or reading what I'm saying. He's just ignoring everything I'm saying.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's really getting me down. I feel like I'm suffocating or drowning. If we didn't have a child together I could block him out of my life forever.

He constantly messages me on the days he doesn't see our baby asking how she is and can I send him pictures of her. Then even on the days where he has the baby he's sending me pictures of her. And asking me what I'm up to & non stop messages.

We did go threw a stage where after we split up we were doing a few family days out a month, to a park or swimming etc. But I've slowly put an end to these because I could see it was giving him some kind of false hope.

He would make comments like "you don't want to be with me but we went to the park last week".. ignoring the fact that we went to the park for our daughter! She was there to

What do I do? It's draining

I don't know what to do anymore, it's really getting me down. I feel like I'm suffocating or drowning. If we didn't have a child together I could block him out of my life forever.

Report him for harassment, block him and tell him to go through the courts.

Job done.

Learn the grey rock method

https://psychcentral.com/health/grey-rock-method

Only communicate about child contact. Get a set routine in place and stick to it. If he doesn’t like it tell him to take you to court.

He sounds like he might be a stalker. This has gone on for far too long. Contact paladin for support and advice.

https://www.paladinservice.co.uk

What he’s doing is wrong and you do not have to put up with it. Please be careful because men who stalk women can become dangerous. Def speak to Paladin. They are best placed to give you the most appropriate support and advice, which may include reporting him to the police and getting a non-mol in place.

Definitely contact outside help. This is stalking and harassment. Child contact needs to be by prior arrangement and no contact outside of making those arrangements.

Youre totally right on stopping all the days out ‘as a family’.

Now stoop all messages that aren’t about your dd. Ignore anything else. Dint respond, make comment or even tell him to stop.
Reduce messages to a minimum. He doesn’t need several photos everyday.

You need to tell him that this is what you’ll do. Eg only checking his messages once a day (or less). Keeping to things about dd only. Whatever feels reasonable to you at the mo.

Fir the rest, grey rock him or ignore all together.

If you do want to continue to communicate about your child, you could consider other options - cheapest would be to get a burner phone that you only check on the days that he has her, and block his number from your main phone.
There are also co parenting apps that are available where you communicate through the app (there are boundaries about what can go on it) and no contact details are shared - they do cost though. Ourfamilywizard is one that I've known agreed to be used after court cases, there are others though.