How to see a way forward

[hmw18]

I have wasted most of my 20's and 30's on terrible relationships which have knocked my confidence to the lowest possible ebb. I had given up and then reconnected with an old friend and we slowly moved towards a relationship. This felt so different, kind and happy. I thought finally it had happened and I had found my person. He suddenly withdrew and in the end I ended it as I could tell it was what he wanted. I am ambitious and have a good job and this seems to have put many men off me and girlfriends now say that most men don't want this from a wife. I am soon to turn 39 and I am realising that I am likely to be single and childless for life. I cannot get over this relationship and just find myself crying whenever I am alone. I just cannot see a way forward for me and every friend is married with children so the loneliness is horrid. I then feel immensely guilty as I know so many people are in a far more difficult situation. Has anyone experienced anything like this and knows what I can do? X

I had a kid at 42 so as long as you’re still ovulating, it’s not impossible yet. Have you ever considered adopting or going down the sperm donation route? Would you want to raise a child on your own? Is this something you would consider? The reality is that women don’t necessarily need a partner to have children anymore.
Also, do some work on your self esteem. Perhaps your long term relationship and the trauma it caused you has lead you to choose someone else who’s unsuitable in this recent relationship. We tend to gravitate to the familiar subconsciously because the subconscious sees familiarity as safe, even when it’s not good for us. Consider doing the freedom programme and have a read of this book to start working on feeling better about yourself.

https://ia600704.us.archive.org/31/items/TheSixPillarsOfSelfEsteem_201811/The-Six-Pillars-of-Self-Esteem.pdf

Thank you so much, I know my self esteem is low and I will download the book. I know there are options and I would adopt. I just feel very regretful of my choices of companionship and I really do not want to be on my own forever. Thank you for being so kind x

Don’t beat yourself up. You did your best with what you had at the time. There’s no point holding on to those regrets. They’re not serving you. Every day you wake up is a fresh start. It’s a chance to start anew and make different choices. Start today. Take a few deep breaths and say, “I forgive myself for all of my past mistake. Today is a new day and I am deserving of all good things.” Do this every morning before you get out of bed. Focus on being grateful for the new day and the myriad of possibilities that will come your way. This will help to change your mindset and put on you the right track. Best of luck 💐