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Relationships

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Do I (M21) break up with my gf (F21)

5 replies

iamtheanon9658 · 03/12/2024 17:13

TL;DR Not sure if I (M21) should end a one-sided relationship where my gf (F21) is scared of intimacy.
I (M21) have been seeing this girl (F21) for roughly 5 months and shes my gf. She is my first relationship. I haven't seen her frequently, and there was a period where I didn't see her for 5 weeks despite both being in the same city. We text everyday and have been exclusive. Recently, I have asked her to come round multiple times and she keeps flaking last minute. It's quite one sided, where all the dates and meetups are arranged by myself. I have become quite frustrated with this and we usually don't communicate well, but I decided to confront her about it. We talked, and she took accountability for being flaky and said it would improve in the future and we had a pleasant, respectful conversation about it.
I was a virgin and when we first had sex about 3 months ago, it was awkward, took a long time and was exhausting for us both. She admitted recently that she flakes from coming over as she didn't enjoy the sex and doesn't want to experience that again and has become scared of getting intimate (which she knows will happen if she comes over), but I think it was awkward as it was my first time and I think with time it will get better as I become more comfortable with her and learn her needs, but I have been unable to improve as we have only had sex once in our entire relationship. Since she told me this, I have felt so emasculated and ashamed. I'm trying to be the best boyfriend I can, trying to communicate, being positive and understanding, but I feel confused. Throughout the relationship I have been very attached to her and did develop some relationship anxiety which has gone away. She is the only girl I have ever dated (she has dated other men).
Is this normal for a relationship? Part of me wants to keep the relationship going and not give up, building upon our improved communication, hopefully working through our problems and coming out stronger, but I'm not sure if I am just desperately holding onto my first love and we are simply not compatible. We don't spend much time together, but when we do I feel a great connection and enjoy her company, but I am losing my attraction to her due to her flakiness and the one-sidedness. I don' know what to do.

OP posts:
DontBiteTheCat · 03/12/2024 17:14

End it, this isn’t going to get better.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 03/12/2024 17:16

End it. If she's not putting the effort in she's probably hoping it fizzles out without it getting awkward.

Opentooffers · 03/12/2024 17:26

You don't communicate well and are not sexually compatible either. You might as well end it as it sounds like it's been over for a while anyway, she's just stopped short of saying it, so you haven't got the memo.
Try not to let, your first experience not coming up to expectations, get to you. First times are rarely something to shout about, best forgotten about mostly. Things will improve with time and confidence.

RaininSummer · 03/12/2024 18:38

Break it off. Get your confidence back and meet some other nice women. This relationship sounds dead in the water.

vodkaredbullgirl · 03/12/2024 18:39

End it

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