How to get my ducks in a row

[Wonkyvedge]

Ok so I have been soul searching the last few months about my 10year relationship.
i cannot put up with the joyless existence anymore . He is such a moody old man despite only being in his forties . He hates holidays , birthdays or even cute nativity plays . Jealous of the dog 🙄 always the one telling everyone off and just generally crushing my dreams . He is the decision maker as everybody else is wrong and he is the only one who knows how to do anything the right way .
it was a gradual thing and it’s only since we’ve been living together (4 years) I have noticed just how negative he is . We have one child together which is why I think it’s taken me so long to wake up .
I rely on him to pay the mortgage and bills . I work part time (very part time) as I do all childcare and wfh when I can and am basically the housewife without actually being married . We have a mortgage in joint names but there’s no way I could afford this on my own .
I know I need to get another job that’s longer regular hours which I will do after Xmas . But what else should I do to get my ducks in a row ?
does anyone have experience of having a joint mortgage and splitting ? But not having any money to do solicitors and selling ?

I can wait this out until I’m in a better position to leave as I’ve watched friends and family in my situation act too quickly and the men quickly turn from friend to foe so I want to be prepared .

thanks for any advice given

Can he afford to buy you out?

I would imagine he would be able to but not straight away

Thought I’d bump this for you.
i think the new job should be your first consideration

Hi OP. The benefit of not being married is that it makes this a lot more straight forward really, there’s nothing to argue over, the downside is that as you’re not married all you’re entitled to is your % of the house and child maintenance.

You need to be working full time or as much as possible ASAP, so you can build up some savings and get some money behind you. That’s really the main “duck” you have to sort, you could also start looking at potential rentals so that you have any idea of what kind of money you need, have a look and see if you’d be entitled to UC etc. He may be able to buy you out of the house which is straightforward, or if he can’t/doesn’t want to then you sell the house and split the equity, assuming you bought as joint tenants you are each entitled to 50% of the equity.

As I say it’s much simpler, although financially to your disadvantage as you have no claim to any savings he has or any pension etc, to not be married here because all you have to sort is the selling of the house.