Death of "the one that got away"

[FrancisQuoynt]

Silly I know but ... a long time ago I had such a thing for a man and wanted to develop a relationship but didn't do anything about it though I could have done. He was really a terrific person. This was through a hobby (he was a sportsperson). Thought about him on and off through the years, and saw him again at an event a few years ago. We chatted and got on well but I think that at the time he was in a relationship. He popped into my mind over the weekend randomly and on Sunday I went to find some Christmas decorations in my attic, and came across some old photographs of him. Then that same evening I discovered he was dead, killed in an accident while cycling a few months back, hit by a van. I feel cheated, like I missed the chance for something that never had the time to blossom.

I recently had a coffee with my one who got away as he came back from overseas.

I think of him often and remember the time we're originally together go fondly.

When we met it was lovely, he was still the same and we still had the connection. But on reflection there was a reason why we both never perused anything more in all theses years.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend

What might have been is always bitter-sweet. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm spending next weekend with my 'one that got away'. we're still frinds and it always takes me a while to get over seeing him.

This is hard - I’m sorry

I think it’s normal to have a certain sense of nostalgia and whimsy when you learn of somebody’s death like this, but I also think you need to be rational about it. It isn’t his death that has prevented you from doing anything. You really hardly knew him and hadn’t seen him for years. Whatever you’ve built him up to be in your head is probably way off the mark of who he actually is, and there’s every chance that you’d have never been able to get a relationship off the ground for all kinds of reasons.

Are you generally feeling at a bit of a crossroads or a dead end with your life at the moment? It sounds as though there’s a wider issue about feeling dissatisfied and disappointed with where you are, which needs some addressing.

@ComtesseDeSpair I don't know really. I'm quite exhausted at the minute in general and having a tough time at work. This man isn't someone I had thought about regularly or obsessed over. I've not thought of him in quite a while now. The shock was still palpable and that door is now clanged shut.