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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Child’s father lied about right to be in the UK

7 replies

ShyGreenOP · 03/12/2024 11:18

im a mother to a 6 year old (from a previous relationship) and a 4 month old (partner in questions).

My partner wasn’t born in the uk and we met online. He had told me he had been in the uk for a number of years before we met and we have currently been together for 2 years.

The relationship began to turn south 1/4 into the pregnancy. He couldnt handle my sensitivity, it all started to turn sour. We pushed through, and after my son was born things did not improve. During a heated argument, when my baby was 2 months old, my partner I asked him to leave. He insisted he would take the baby with him. After repeatedly asking him to leave, I threatened to call the police in which he told me to go ahead, so I did.

Fast forward 2 months, the reprocussions of me phoning the police he told me he had to sign with immigration regularly, because he was arrested (no charges). Almost every argument since he has used this reasoning to insult me to the moon and back, treat me heartlessly no matter what I do or don’t do.

I found some paper work today, paper work todo with the immigration involvement. It states he had a 6 month visitor pass issued just 6 months before we met. The month we began dating it expired and he has never renewed it etc since, and that’s the reasoning for him having to sign.

He has lied to me from the very beginning. And now, he is still lying and using my guilt to treat me quite terribly when it suits him.

What on earth do I do?

OP posts:
Jostuki · 03/12/2024 11:20

Sadly it looks like he used you to try and get a permanent foot in the door here.

ICarriedTheWatermelon · 03/12/2024 11:22

Guess you know why he didn’t use protection then. He has used you sadly.

I would go and see a solicitor for advice regarding his threats to take the baby.

SometimesCalmPerson · 03/12/2024 11:22

Separate from him and let him get on with it.

BeachRide · 03/12/2024 11:23

You get this awful, abusive, lying man out of your daughter's life for a start. What are you thinking?

TwistedWonder · 03/12/2024 11:27

Please tell us you’re not letting this lying abuser live under same roof as your children?

coffeesaveslives · 03/12/2024 11:52

You tell him to fuck off and report any threats to the police.

OnlyHerefortheBiscuits · 03/12/2024 12:26

Sounds like he used you, your fertility....and your poor child's life.

How is he as a Father? Daft question.

This is a HUGE lie. A lie of this magnitude and for this long utterly galling.

You are absolutely right to be appalled.

P.s it is highly unlikely that anyone will legally take your baby from you. No matter what he would like to scare you with.

Keep reporting to the police.

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