Feeling pushed out and like a child again

[Herewegoagain5]

Since having a baby at 23 (36 now with 4 kids and one on the way) Iv found it hard to maintain friendships. I have one bestfriend of over 20 years but we only see each other a few times a year.

I started a job 8 years ago and made two really great friends, more than work friends. We socialized outside of work, went on weekends away, stayed over in each others homes, got matching tattoos ect.. I thought these were friends for life. But last year I left this job to be a SAHM and things continued to still work between us, lunches, dinners ect... until recently they seem to be leaving me out now.

Last weekend they asked if i was free on saturday evening for dinner, i said no because DH had his work party but could we do Friday or Sunday instead? No reply and then they posted pictures today on Saturday at dinner. I just text saying "oh i hope you enjoy your night" and got sent a picture of their food.

The this morning they posted a picture together saying "roll of January 2025 for their trip away together". I never got asked if i wanted to go on the trip or even heard them talk about it. They dont know im pregnant yet so thats not an excuse to not invite me.

Do i speak to them about it or just let the friendships fizzle out? Im feeling very alone and isolated at the minute.

Are they still working together? It's unusual for work friends to remain friends when you leave.

It looks like you're drifting apart. Do you often have to change arrangements? If so they could be fed up with it.

You couldn’t go on a night out; it’s reasonable for them to assume you are not up for a holiday.

It’s hard when your lives take radically different paths. They work, you’re at home with 4 children and a 5th on the way. Your time, availability and disposable income are going to be very different.

You can still be good friends, there’s no reason to pull back except for hurt feelings. I understand it’s sad being left out - I have been there myself - but I think it’s inevitable when friends make very different lifestyle decisions.

In my experience it’s easier in later years as children get older to reconnect with friends.

Yes, they still work together but they work from home full time.

No, this is the first time iv had to change. DH always makes sure hes home with the kids so i can go out.

but it was just one night out with two days notice, a holiday in January i could do. I pretty much always has evenings free as DH makes sure he has nothing on if i have a night out planned.

My disposable income is actually a lot better than theirs (not that Id show it) which is why I gave up work because of DH's income.

They both have children too, one is a single mom which means her availability is less than mine as she is doing it completely solo