Ok this is generally a rant thing cos im not really bothered if im being unreasonable!!
My MIL on the whole is great! We have had our disagreements and big arguments but have always brushed over them and carried on. I know she wasnt keen on dh and i getting married and has voiced all her opinions including telling me that the only woman dh has and will ever loved was an ex he had 7 years ago!!
Ok, heres the problem. DH has a daughter with his exp whom i love dearly and we have her with us loads! DHs exp also had another daughter who is 7 and used to stay with us once a month. Things got quite awkward with (lets call her V). V started saying stuff to her mum like that she was being left with ds and dsd whgich was total lies and in the end we stopped her from coming to stay. This was in OCT 2003. Since then every 4 or 5 months MIL arranges to have V to stay with her which is fine by me. DH no longer sees V and when he does she isnt bothered by him and generally has to be prompted to say hello!
The last 2 times that MIL has had V to stay she has asked me to pick her up and have at her mine as she has had things to do and has asked me to have her till she is ready to collect her! I have refused once but i did look after V for a few hours last time she visited which was awful as she was getting ds and dsd over excited and telling me i wasnt allowed to tell her off or tell dsd off either! We just dont get along! As far as she is concerned my house was her mummys house and i shouldnt be here!
Yesterday MIL rang and asked if on 14th we could pick up V and DSD (would be due to pick up dsd anyway) I dont mind bringing V back here if she was being picked up immediately but MIL wants me to keep her till 10pm so i said no. She then went all quiet and said fine and put the phone down. I dont feel im being unreasonable as i need to get ds and dsd into bed at a reasonable hour and i know V will over excite them and they will be up all night. I also feel that if MIL really wants to see V then she should be arranging her own pick ups and drop offs and making sure she is available to care for her.
Dh says he is in the middle but understands that i dont need the extra stress of another child to care for as im 10 weeks pregnant. Im just fed up of it now and know that V only comes to MIL cos she goes home with bags of new clothes and toys and sweets etc... Im not the only one to be annoyed by this. My SIL also thinks that MIL buys Vs affections and thinks that V wouldnt want to go to MILs if she didnt get all the presents! I have to face my MIL tomorrow as have organised to meet for coffeee but dont know if i should try and explain my feelings to her. The last time we spoke about V we ended up arguing till 4 in the morning and she said alot of nasty things which we have just sort of brushed under the carpet.
OK sorry about it being so long and thanks for reading!