Looking for resources to help me have good conversations with my partner about how to improve our relationship

[EverybodySayCheeze]

Does anyone have any recommendations for how to start having positive conversations about my relationship and improving it. Looking for books or resources to help structure conversations.

My husband and I are both terrible communicators, and after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, it’s becoming a problem. We love and care for each other but there are problems (dealing with anger/finding time for each other/sex life). After putting it off for years , I finally plucked up the courage to have a proper convo with him and we agreed we needed to spend some time evaluating our relationship and making some improvements.

This is where I need help. Does anyone have any resources (books, online tips, quizzes, general guidance) on how to kick start this conversation.

As I said, we’re both bad communicators and I find when we speak neither of us really know the right questions to ask or how to frame discussions and therefore I don’t feel we progress very much.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Does a church near to you run the Marriage Course? It's not just for Christian couples, it covers topics like resolving conflict, different communication styles, money, parents and in-laws, sex etc.

Tell us more about the "dealing with anger" issue though, what's going on there?

Thank you. I don’t think we’re ready to invite a third party in yet, and would rather have these conversations ourselves before we go external. Perhaps we’ll get to that stage, but for now prefer to do this at home.

With the anger, not sure if you’re asking this through concern, but it’s nothing big. We’ve two young children, and by the end of the day our conversations are strained, and tend to snapping rather than talking.

It sounds a bit forced to initiate specific conversations about the relationship.

Can you not just arrange to spend some time together without the children and just enjoy yourselves? Let the conversation flow about things around you if you visit a nice place rather than chat about the children, house, shopping etc?

Thank you, but honestly, no. It’s more than that. We’ve already agreed to spend more time alone, and I think that will help us bond more emotionally, but we never really get to any real depth in our conversations beyond having a nice chat - and I want to be able to talk about some ‘sensitive topics’ that traditional we avoid - we’re both avoidant, and if we don’t properly sit down and force a conversation it won’t solve the problems.

Try the book ‘this is how my marriage ends’.

Thank you! I’ve just ordered it, and the Seven Principles which I’ve seen recommended elsewhere.