I hope this makes sense because it’s been causing me a lot of heartache.
We had only been living in our house for a year when my husband decided he wanted to sell and move again. Our house is beautiful, but he kept saying it was making him depressed. It’s on a busy lane, often filled with dog walkers, and next to a community field where groups of teenagers sometimes gather.
It took nearly two years to sell the house, during which I experienced a miscarriage, became pregnant again, and now have a lovely 9-month-old son. While I was pregnant, my husband was consumed with selling the house, often being negative and dismissive about my pregnancy. For example, when I bought baby clothes, he said, “What’s the point? We might be moving soon, and you’re filling the house with baby stuff.” This is just one of many comments that hurt me. Meanwhile, I was juggling house viewings, cleaning, and dealing with estate agents while pregnant.
It’s also me who’s been managing estate agents and lawyers throughout the entire process, all while on maternity leave.
The house finally sold, and my husband pushed hard to get the sale through quickly. The estate agents assured us it would be finalized before Christmas. But now, he’s become indecisive again, constantly pressuring me to decide whether we should move before Christmas, rent a flat while we look for another property, or stay put. We put in an offer on a house that was accepted, but now he’s unsure about that too. He claims it’s me he’s worried about because it’s on a small lane, despite me repeatedly telling him I’m fine with it.
There’s so much more that goes into this. It took me over a year to find a nursery for my son in the specific area my husband was so obsessed with living in. I just kept thinking that once we moved, he’d finally be happy again. But this process has made me extremely depressed, and now I don’t even care anymore—about moving or not moving. I just want to live my life with my son and move forward.
Selling this house has “ruined” so many things: Christmas, my pregnancy, and more. I’ve tried my best to support him, but now he’s saying we should look at an entirely different area, even after pressuring us to move quickly. On top of that, he’s been very unloving.
I don't know what to think or feel anymore. This might not sound like a big deal but after dealing with it for two years, his moods and the house selling process while being a first time mum has taken its toll. When he tried to speak to me last night about making a decision I just told him I don't care anymore I've told him my thoughts and to leave me alone. He said we need to let the estate agents know today which is true but it's my son's first day of nursery and my first day of work and I couldn't care less about the house right now. It's like he can't make a decision for himself and seeks constant reassurance whereas our son is my main priority.