45 year old woman dating 31 year old man

[Mybadcat]

I’ve recently started seeing a lovely man who is 31 “Sam”
Ive just managed to get my vile ex “Peter”who was verbally abusive and horrible to me throughout out 13 years together to leave the family home. we have one child together and both 45.
Sam pursued me for a while I thought he was just being very friendly. Things have developed and we have been spending time together.
its the first time I’ve been happy for years .am I being selfish?
he knows my situation and doesn’t seem fazed, if anything seems extremely keen on me.

If you're both happy, why not.

I would just bear in mind that if he hasn't got any kids of his own yet, he will probably want to have them and it's unlikely to be with you so the relationship will have a sell by date.

Not an issue, as long as your child is happy with your new friend.

I’ve considered this. He says he doesn’t want children.
move told him he may change his mind. And also told him having kids is the best thing ever (most of the time lol)

Would you question this if he was 14 years older instead of you being 14 years older? I think we are somewhat conditioned to accept the guy being much older, but find it odd the other way around.
I'm very early dating someone who's 55, and I'm 41. In your situation, I'd just enjoy it for what it is. Perhaps he will want children in the future so it will fizzle out; or maybe it will develop into something long term. Just go with it.

Just enjoy yourself but bear in mind that it's unlikely to last.

People often change their mind on that, especially as they get towards the age they think it's not feasible to have them after.

I would keep in mind that you may be dumped sooner or later if he changes his mind. Of course you can enjoy it now, but ...

am I being selfish?

He's 31, he's a bloke so he can theoretically have kids til old age.

How could you be being selfish? If he wants to be with you (for however long), that's up to him.

You are both consenting adults. No one is being selfish, and you both are having fun. Why not. It works while it works.
It is very unlikely to last long term - so just enjoy and don't start imagining growing old together.
Yes, it is unfair, and there there are plenty of long term couples with men 14 years older, but there are not many couples with a 60yo women and 46yo men.

So - enjoy!!!

What's selfish about this?

He 31. He’s not a child. He’s a full grown man. If you’re happy and he’s happy, go for it.