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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Staying civil while I prepare to LTB

3 replies

Diggingdeepstayingstrong · 01/12/2024 11:32

i have decided to LTB, we have 2 DC 11 and 13. I had hoped that I could hang on either forever or at least until the DC have flown nest. But, know my dislike of him is making me crabby around the kids. I also told myself that while kids are happy and not effected, I will keep trying.
but now I don’t think I can. I began noting what is pissing me off. Mainly doing all what he wants most of the time and only chipping in if I ask. Including mental load, housework, homework, kids health and education. I am sure there is no going back. No sex because the aforementioned gives me the ick.
so, plan is to get a new job (current one wouldn’t cover Bills) , and then arrange a rental for 6 months while we sort the money out. I do t want this house, I know he will share kid access as it would be way to much effort for him to have them more than his share.
How do I stay sane and not make kids life horrid while I get there and gather paperwork’s and evidence (realistically 3 months). I switch from feeling positive and able to wait it out to feeling moments away from telling him it’s over. Worried I will lose the plot in the meanwhile and seeking strength tips.

OP posts:
betterboots · 01/12/2024 17:28

All I can say is it's a really bloody hard time Sad You might want to come and join us on the divorce/separation board, you can ask MNHQ for your thread to be moved over.

parisinspring322 · 01/12/2024 19:31

In a similar situation but not as proactive as you op. I could have written so much of your post. Nothing to add unfortunately. Watching this thread with interest.

Bittenonce · 01/12/2024 21:19

I'm not sure you need tips on being strong to stay - you need your strength to just go. I'd worry that the longer you stay when you're unhappy, faking a relationship, knowing you'll go, the more it will take out of you. If you're mentally committed to going - you need to go.

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