Am I Pathetic?

[NevilleLong]

Feeling a little bit fed up. DH and I never seem to talk or do anything together.
I was watching TV upstairs tonight after making tea as he was watching football.
He came up to go to bed and mentioned about something that was on the TV about talking.
I said we never talk really. His reaction was in my opinion extreme. He said after 12 years conversations do dwindle out you know. Sorry that I don't talk to you all f@ckin day!
I did say, I forgot I'm not allowed to tell you how I feel. Then I started getting called pathetic and ridiculous and if I don't like it to leave.
He also said I sit upstairs watching tv all the time! Which I do of an evening, because he watched football, or people playing casino on the TV or plays on the Xbox.
He is unable to have a discussion without, in my opinion, a reaction rather than response or an adult conversation, he gets angry and shouts.
We are in the middle of getting a mortgage and I've gone to bed crying.
If I bring anything up about how I feel, I'm pathetic and ridiculous.
To me he can't have an adult conversation or regulate his emotions.
My friends have dwindled away since being married and I'm feeling a bit lonely.

And his good points are??

To be fair, from your side you do come across a bit passive aggressive and feeling sorry for yourself (inc. the title of your thread). If you are fed up with the status quo don't wait for him to fix it, start making your own changes to improve your life. If that includes ending the relationship then so be it.

I remember seeing your previous thread about this yesterday and I’m wondering why you’ve posted the same thing again as you got a lot of good advice on that one.

I am feeling sorry for myself, I'm upset and don't like the way he speaks to me.

That is not a healthy loving dynamic you have there so you're probably better off ending it.

Who wants to live with an adolescent man child playing X box games and watching football all evening?

If you have no kids end it. You will be much happier: nothing worse than living with a man child.

Even if you do have kids, end it.

I would say, especially if you have kids, end it. Would you want them repeating the same relationship dynamics when they start dating?

OP you are simply not compatible. If you have no conversation and have to watch tv separately every evening that sounds pretty dull. Do you have kids together, or shared interests at all? If not you'd do better going your separate ways now.

I have a child which he is a SD to. I wouldn't even mind after we have been working watching something together or even talking but when I brought it up with him, that's the response I get that I'm pathetic and sorry I don't speak to you 24 hours a day.

Leave him. He’s a bully. He won’t change. He’s abusive. You should take your child out of this shit environment too. You’ll be much happier on your own with your child. You’ll be able to build your friendships back up again and sit in your own living room of an evening watching whatever the fuck you like without being shouted at and called demeaning, nasty names. Do not get a mortgage with him. At least you’re not financially tied to him. Leave asap. Don’t waste any more of your life putting up with this abusive loser. Speak to women’s aid if you feel you need help to make an exit plan. If the house is in your name, seek advice on how to get him out. You’d prob need to get an occupation order since your married but possibly not. Women’s aid can also help you with these kinds of legalities.

OP l agree with@TipsyJoker, he is bullying you and this is not a good environment for your child to live in. Don't waste any more time trying to change him, especially if he is starting to belittle you and have extreme reactions to a simple request. I would start making plans to separate asap.