I've started to see that my husband is a narcissist and it's only now after 13 years I'm finally seeing their colours.
When we first met he was fantastic caring happy loving. Soon he would make criticism over my phone usage and my friends. When we got together he said he wanted to children then said he never said it.
Over the years we haven't shared the same opinion on things and I've remembered things different from what he remembers.
We moved in together after he and his mother argued and he didn't have any where else.
Soon he took over cooking and would ask for criticism but Hate honesty.
He's always been a matter fact person like he's lacking empathy where I'm an empathetic person.
We had a baby and he didn't want to have it but after conversation that he could go if he really didn't want to be a dad he's stayed. During the pregnancy he was cold and uninterested and after my son was born he was always home late due to work. He hated my son crying and having to do anything as a family I did the majority of it with my mam and dad and he did his working weekdays weekends and evenings.
I asked him for a hug one day after the baby and he said he wouldn't whilst I still had a post parting belly. I asked him for an apology for the way he treated me and he said he couldn't apologise as that's how he felt.
Many years on he doesn't have the best bonds with my son and I've always encouraged him to try harder and bond but he's always been working or annoyed at my son's normal cheeky behaviour.
He blames me for his lack of real bond and I've only ever encouraged him.
He would always do the food shop as the higher earner and I cover part time and childcare as we have no help. Making sure nice food was in the fridge and cupboard. He did all the manual work on my car and paid for the parts.
Now he's calling me a financial drain and said all the jobs he's ever done are to help me financially which is untrue, I've never asked for any help or expected it and I've always told him how much I appreciate everything he's ever done.
Last year he cheated he was sending dirty messages to a girl he had slept with before us. I found out when he fell a sleep with a message showing I thinking I fell a sleep in you earlier I was broken and livid and he didn't want to end our relationship and apologised the night I found out.
Since then he's still been sneaky with his phone and using it more and more. I stupidly didn't kick him out then but I stayed and for 18months he's gaslight me and drove me insane. He started to say my relationship with my son was strange and that he thought our son fancied me and was trying to replace him. He would say I can't wait for him to turn 18 so he can fuck off.
I came home from work a few weeks ago after he had gaslight and left me On read all day to find him in the kitchen waiting to tell me
He was leaving and that he doesn't love
Me anymore he's hates me and resents me for the life he never wanted he says he will
Have a better relationship with our son now because I'm not stopping it which I never have I just haven't been cruel to our son. He would
Tell my son he's fat and make cruel jibs.
He said he's an over thinker and will never come back but he's also an optimistic and you can never say never.
Since he left he's got more and more vile and annoyed with me as I helped pack his things and he was pissed off I helped he was annoyed that I'd been in the safe in our bedroom and said he wanted to fucking head butt me as I'd over stepped the mark. He's told me he loves me in a way he wouldn't want to see me decapted he's blocked me on instagram I've blocked him after more rubbish about our boy having the potential to me nice and lovely and I told
Him his look on our child was warped and he needed help last year he said he would kill himself if I left. Now it's he will kill himself if he stays.
He's bring up really pathetic things I've done in the past to tell me how unhappy
I've made him. He wants us to be friends and draw a line under of marriage and co-parent but he's truly being horrible and I don't trust him with our son after all his recent comments.
I just think I've been with someone wearing a mask for all these years where has my
Person gone.
He had a bad upbringing and I've made so many excuses over the years because I thought it was that but I can't see how he can become someone else all of a sudden and just leave and be so nasty to me after he's always made a out of going above and beyond for me and now he's spitting venom.
Doe he sound like a narcissist to anyone else?