First weekend off together and he decides to spend it with his brothers

[Happyfuture]

Aibu by being really annoyed that my partner has decided to spend Sunday hanging with his brothers? It's our first weekend off work together in 2 months, to which I've changed jobs to give us the weekends together that we so desperately talked about. We have been together 23 years and I've always been the one to change something in my life to help suit our relationship. Again I feel really let down that instead of us spending the whole weekend together, he's now going to go see his brothers. Bare in mind we were planning on going out for the day Sunday, then all of a sudden he's changed his plans and basically not taken me into consideration. I'm sick of always being the one to constantly make the sacrifices to my work life to help us have a better home life, and for him to now pretend like we had nothing planned and laying the "I haven't seen my brothers for a while" card on me whilst calling his brother and planning the day in front of me feels like a massive kick to my heart. He's currently asking me what's wrong because I've become quiet, and honestly I feel checked out. I don't want to say anything or react so I'm staying quiet because if I do react he will try to make me feel guilty for making him feel bad, then do the whole "fine I'll cancel it with them then" shit so that I end up caving and say no go. Argh! I feel so fed up. Any advice is welcome.

Well, I think communication is key and I personally think you should say something. You should say that we have been planning for two months to have a weekend off. We finally get a weekend off and you go see your brother you can go see your brother the days where I haven’t got off with you maybe he didn’t think I know it sounds silly but maybe he didn’t. Maybe you do need to say something.

Instead of being quiet, why don’t you explain to him everything you’ve just said in your OP.

Giving someone the quiet treatment does nobody any good, he shouldn't want to be with his brothers instead of you.

Thank you, I know I should say something, I'm just finding it difficult as I'm tired of confrontation and arguments. As I've gotten older I've stopped explaining to him how I'm hurt by his actions when he lets me down. I feel like people will show you who matters to them when you don't fight it and allow them to do what they want to do. Me reacting or having to explain why I'm hurt won't make the situation change but just cause another argument. I left a job I loved because we never spent time together and it feels like a real kick in the teeth right now. I think I need to have a moment and speak to him when my heads a little clearer and I'm out of my feelings.

Please see what you've written

I left a job I love so we can spend weekends together and it's a huge kick in the teeth that you don't appreciate it and have organised a brother's day in front of me. How do you think that makes me feel?

This is perfect.

Say exactly this to him. And let him think about it and come up with an answer. It is thoughtless of him.