There’s a lot of back story but in short, my partner has some narc traits but has improved and is trying within the relationship.
However, I’ve missed an opportunity to make him see how narrow minded and offensive some of his thought processes and comments are!
For context I have long hair, always have and would like to keep it long for as long as possible and have never even hinted at going short but I know that, well bodies age and this might not always be possible.
So, partner has on 5+ occasions during our relationship commented on women’s hair when it is short (not bob short, very short) now I understand that it’s a preference and that we are all allowed to prefer certain styles and looks in our partners but it really grates when he says things like ‘I’ll never understand why a woman cuts her hair that short.’, ‘I don’t like short hair on a woman.’, ‘look at the state of her hair.’ Etc. Over the years I have responded with comments about how they are entitled to have their hair however they want and it’s no one else’s business etc. Last night when he made a similar comment I commented that if your hair is thinning you might feel you have no choice to go short and as you age your hair isn’t the same and he responded along the lines of ‘I know you’ll try and keep your hair as long as possible’ which is true but that’s because I prefer it that way, not for him.
But why oh why oh why have I, after all these years not responded with this?!?!? ‘Yes, I would prefer a man with some hair I think.’
He’s actually bald!!! Why have I been so focussed on giving this man an intelligent answer and trying to appeal to his better nature when all along I could have just gone for the cheap shot!!? He wasn’t bald when I met him! He has male pattern baldness and shaves his head because he has so little hair left! (I don’t actually care and I’m not even sure if I prefer men with or without hair - kind would do 😂) but who does this absolute judgemental fool think he is? To comment on women’s hair and feel he has the right to judge and kind of dictate (you know he’s saying it to reaffirm he doesn’t want my hair short) when he’s as bald as a coot!?!
So I’m cross with myself because I’ve missed my chance and will probably have to wait 12 months for him to make similar comments 🤬